


When it's dawning

by nymphori



Series: meet me halfway [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: First Meetings, M/M, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 01:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 42,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5688742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nymphori/pseuds/nymphori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sunrise: new hope, new beginnings. At sunrise Keiji meets him on the rooftop for their own beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 4:45 AM

In his first month of university Keiji found that he liked the new lifestyle it brought. All his years of careful routine from high school had been broken apart. He didn’t need to wake up early in the morning, he didn’t need to fight his way to a spot on the train at six in the morning, he didn’t need to convince himself to stay awake in morning classes. He had picked all of his classes to be in the afternoon and the evenings here, and it had resulted in Keiji staying up long past the sun going down. Falling asleep as the day broke, and waking up in the early afternoon ready to start his day.

This was a schedule he could never have dreamed of having in high school, and he loved it.

He only saw a few people in the nights that usually belonged to him. Generally right before he went to bed, he would bathe and nod a greeting to those on sports scholarships who had to be up early. Who still had to live on someone else’s schedule. Keiji was happy to have left that behind.

 

Until now

 

Three in the morning and he had been hit with a sudden burst of energy. That built in need to expend energy, he had been ignoring it lately. Intent on settling in, getting used to university, and his classes, and the change in how he studied. The urge to just _do_ something had been quelled under nerves, trying to make friends in his classes that he could go to for help if he was ever sick, picking through introduction speeches from his lecturers, seeing if some of them seemed friendly enough to go to if he ever needed help.

Now it had come back though, full force. He had energy thrumming in his veins and he just needed to _move_. Forcing himself to exercise had never been a problem before. Keiji had simply gone to and from practice, before and after school, and then relished in the time he had to sit down, to do nothing. Lately, that had been all that he had been doing. Now he needed to get himself out, fresh air, expend that energy. Keiji needed to tire himself out before it kept him up. He didn’t want it to get to ten, eleven, twelve, his alarm going off and still having had no sleep.

That would not be the ideal way to attend his afternoon classes.

Keiji changed quietly into clothes that he could move in. During the day the world was slowly warming up as summer approaches, but here in the middle of the night it was still cold. He slips out of the room and toes into his sneakers at the entrance to the dorm.

It’s quiet outside, it’s the middle of the week. Closer to the weekend it was more likely for Keiji to have to share this time of day, but here, now. The world was his. There was a light breeze while he walked down the path to campus. It was the only direction he felt comfortable walking, he still didn’t know much else that was around except for campus. One day he would have to make time to figure out more of the area he lived. Now he just needed movement. To no longer walk, but to run.

His panting breath was soon all he could hear. A few cars were out on the roads, but Keiji saw no people. Just him alone in the world.

He ran around the campus, taking multiple laps. Running down pathways that he didn’t take during the day when he was on a mission. A courtyard found outside the music department, the greenhouses of the botany department, a giant canister of something near the main science building. Buildings that looked like houses, and apartments but were actually offices.

Keiji stopped outside one of the buildings that he had lectures in. Breathing hard against the wall, and wishing that he had thought to bring a drink of some kind with him.

He stretched his arms above his head, and circled the building, taking long strides to stretch out his muscles. He felt better now, the energy that had consumed him had been settled. He felt more rested, relaxed.

Keiji stopped pacing the building when he noticed the fire escape leading to the rooftop. It was three floors up; a rickety ladder. It must have been something about being the only one on campus in the middle of the night, but he was taken over with the desire to climb up.

It creaked and wobbled one floor up, but he was committed.

Two floors up and Keiji realised that the building opposite belonged to the campus police, hopefully none of them would see him. He was too far up to give in now.

Three floors up, and Keiji swung himself over the ledge.

There were large pipes coming through the rooftop, and a cage that held what looked to be a large fan of some kind. _The heating system for the building maybe_?

Keiji sat down on the ledge that ran around the rooftop space, on the opposite side of the building to where he had climbed up. There were lots of buildings and departments that reached higher than he was sitting, but it was still nice to be sat up high, swinging his legs over three floors of nothing before the earth where he had been earlier.

It was freeing.

The air was cool on his skin, doubly so given the sweat drying and sticking to his clothes. Keiji felt refreshed though. He had been so focused on the change of environment, on making sure he knew how and what to study, on ensuring that he wasn’t left behind at the beginning of the semester, that it had been a while since he had just done _nothing_.

It was nice to just sit and watch the world. Some of the windows he could see had lights in them. It made Keiji wonder if there were people behind them, working, or if they had just been left on. Scattered around the campus he could see the blinking blue lights of the emergency phones, and beyond that he could see the lights of the city. There was nothing to see by looking up, the moon shone through the blanket of clouds covering the sky, but on a clear night Keiji wondered how visible the stars would be from here.

Keiji didn’t even know how long he had been there when he heard creaking. He recognised the sound, someone was climbing up the ladder.

Keiji hadn’t even noticed anyone around, too lost in his own thoughts. What if it was the campus security? How much trouble would he be in for being up on the roof? There hadn’t been a sign or anything, but it just seemed like one of those unwritten rules. _Don’t climb up the fire escape to chill on the roof - especially in the middle of the night_.

“Oh.” He ended up saying instead. The guy who had appeared across the roof from Keiji didn’t look to have anything to do with security. He felt himself breathe a sigh of relief too. Keiji had the feeling that if they were both caught up here, the mysterious stranger would be sure to direct all attention away from him.

“Huh?” The stranger seemed to have noticed that Keiji was sitting on the roof too, and had caught himself halfway between jumping over the ledge.

Keiji could only admire the view it gave him. Mysterious stranger had neglected wearing clothes as far as Keiji could see. The muscles in his arms and chest pulled taut as he held himself halfway up the ledge. It was only a moment before the guy swung himself the rest of the way over and Keiji couldn’t tell if the breath he let out was in relief or disappointment at seeing that he was wearing gym shorts.

Now he felt thirsty for an entirely different reason, his own fault for shutting himself away to study for the first month of uni rather than attending any of the orientation party’s that he knew had been on.

“Wow! I am so glad I didn’t scare you too much, if you had fallen I would have gone to jail! Wow!”

Keiji’s peaceful morning was now assaulted with the loudness of mysterious stranger. He winced, either at the sound or the fact that the campus security office was _right there they could be caught_ he wasn’t sure. Keiji looked beneath his feet at the statement, it would be a long way to fall.

“It is good that I didn’t die then.”

“Sorry about that, there’s usually nobody up here.”

“Usually?” Did that make mysterious stranger a regular visitor then?

“I come up every morning to see the sunrise.”

Oh boy, was it that time of the day already? Keiji did feel somewhat sleepy, but he hadn’t thought that he had been out long enough to see the sun come up. It meant that he should probably head back to his room in order to get some sleep for the day.

“It’s nice to be awake when the world wakes up!” Keiji preferred being awake when the world was asleep, but he appreciated the guys point of view. “It’s calming!” His loud voice at this time of the night was the opposite of calming to Keiji. “It helps me prepare for the day and put me in a good mood!”

Keiji thought the guy was in a good enough mood without seeing the sunrise seeing as he seemed perfectly comfortable talking to Keiji, a stranger, while only half dressed.

“Mmm.” Thinking about what time it was had suddenly made him feel much sleepier. He should definitely head back before he ended up dropping over the edge for having fallen asleep on the roof. So Keiji swings his legs back around, he also needs to successfully climb back down the ladder.

“Ah, ah, no! Don’t leave because of me!”

Keiji sat, back to the world, facing this guy who was now sat at the top of the ladder. It was baffling to think that he came up here to watch the sunrise without clothes. Keiji assumed that once the sun was up there would be more people around, or did he just like having people ogle his body?

It was definitely one worth ogling.

When he talked his muscles pulled and Keiji kept finding his eyes drifting down to the tight muscles at his stomach, to the lines running down –

–and next time there was a party on Keiji really needed to go. Like really, _really_ needed to go.

“I’d feel really bad if you left because of me.”

“I was just reminded of the time and thought I should head back in.”

“Don’t go yet, you should wait for the sunrise, trust me.” The guy smiled in a way that made Keiji think the sun was rising from his face. How was that possible? Did he come here everyday? If Keiji came again another day would he be greeted with this sight again? That body and that smile again?

Keiji would trust him with his life, what right did this guy have to go around smiling at people like that when it was almost their bedtime? Keiji already knew that that smile was bound to show up in his dreams later. It was too mesmerising to not have any place there, even if it was simply reattached back to it’s home on the sun.

Keiji spun himself back around. _Out of sight, out of mind_ chanting religiously in his head. Except that he had spun too hard in order to get that body out of his head, and it had only resulted in bringing it closer. Rough hands grasping at Keiji’s upper arms and steadying him on the ledge.

“You good?” Keiji couldn’t speak, but his non action seemed to speak for itself. “Sweet, it’s only a few minutes now.”

Mysterious stranger who would definitely be appearing in his dream now because of _those arms_ was sitting next to him now. His legs were kicking out against the wall they were sitting on and he was humming to himself as he gazed at the horizon. Keiji forced himself to also focus on the horizon and not the fact that the guys _bare body_ kept brushing up against Keiji’s arm from the movement of his legs.

It really was only a few minutes before light started making it’s way up the sky. Pale blues and yellows painting across the darkness, replacing it. The world came to life. Instead of silence Keiji could make out birds calling in the distance, and even the distant rumble of cars and trains in the city made itself known. It was strange to see all this happening, at a time where Keiji was usually doing the opposite. Shutting himself off to the world and shutting down for a few hours.

It was nice.

It was brief.

It was over.

The guy jumped back from the ledge, and Keiji flailed. When had he started leaning into him? He was caught and dragged back to the flat surface of the roof, away from danger.

“See!” The guy cheered, loud. Keiji was once again wary of the security office just across from where they would need to climb down. “Aren’t you glad that you stayed to watch?”

Keiji simply moved across to the ladder. Getting down sooner rather than later would be his best bet for not getting caught.

As he turned to throw himself over the ledge, he noticed that mysterious stranger was still standing where he had been earlier. He looked to be waiting for Keiji’s answer, fidgeting with the band of his shorts as he did so. Keiji pulled his face away at the flash of red, looking to the ladder.

“It was nice.”

That seemed to be all that was necessary, the guy skipped over to where Keiji was hanging onto the ladder, and started climbing down after him.

Keiji almost fumbled and fell, his foot missing the next rung as he became aware of bare legs and loose shorts above his head. His gaze kept upwards and his body suddenly lost the ability to judge the gap between steps. _What a bother._

Keiji was happy to make it to the bottom with no further mishap other than an increased awareness of his heartbeat and the blood pulsing through his body. Mysterious stranger offered him a wave and a blinding smile when he reached the bottom. “I’ve never seen it with someone before that was great! See you again maybe!” He had far too much energy for this time of the day, made even more obvious when he jogged off.

Keiji walked himself slowly back to his dorm. His pulse was still thrumming in a way that running back would not fix. He needed to wash, and then get into bed, and then think about what his body was doing and maybe if his roommate would be out.

He wasn’t supposed to be thinking of hard muscles and a face like the sun after a few minutes on a rooftop.

Keiji needed sleep, and he needed to follow his roommate out to one of his parties the next time one was on.


	2. 4:41 AM

It’s been three days, and Keiji has seen the sunrise for all of them, inside, from the comfort of his bed. Curtains thrown open because his roommate leaves before the sun even makes it up. He leaves during the civil twilight, which Keiji knows because he has been looking up what time the sun rises each day; thinking about a guy on a rooftop. Was he there again? Did he really go everyday? Was he always half dressed?

He doesn’t want to know, but he also does. Attending his lectures is distracting when the muscles in his text books aren’t quite as defined as his had been. The guy definitely worked out. Keiji wonders if it is possible to recommend someone to be a textbook model; Keiji would like it if mysterious stranger could appear in the next edition of his anatomy book. He would study a lot harder if that were the case, it would probably be a lot harder to study too.

Only when the sun is fully resting above the city does Keiji actually get to sleep now. Too busy thinking of people out there in the world waking up. Sharing that moment of the world coming alive with someone. He shouldn’t keep himself up so late. Staying up later only means that he has less time to sleep. Already Keiji cuts it close for making it to the dining hall just in time for the last call of lunch, any later and he would have to find food from somewhere else.

Keiji needs to get to sleep earlier, and to stop fantasising about a smile and a strong body each time before he does so.  
  


  
He had gone out to a party with his roommate. Had met plenty of attractive people, but had not managed anything too much more than that. It had been a celebration of the teams first win, and after discovering why people were unwilling to go further Keiji had to wonder why they were celebrating now, if they also had a game on in the morning.

Why celebrate at all? His need wasn’t satiated, and as people dispersed to head back to bed ready for their game the next day Keiji only waved off his roommate heading back to their dorm and made his way back to campus.

As expected, Saturday night brought more people out, groups of people in the street, house parties, and Keiji alone, walking back to campus.

The lights of the security building were on, but Keiji ignored them as he climbed the building he had before. Three storeys, creaky ladder, it was much the same.

It wasn’t cloudy this time, and instead of sitting on the ledge Keiji found himself lying down on the roof, gaze to the ceiling above him. The ledge helped to block out the haze of light spilling above the city, so he could see the stars. Faint, but present. There.

It’s still early enough in the night to be considered late night rather than early morning, and Keiji hates that internally he’s already counting down. Knows what time the sun will rise, knows what sound to listen for amongst the noise of people who are on the streets tonight.

This wasn’t supposed to happen this was why he had gone out, fixating on someone never went well. Creating fantasies about someone only led to disappointment when the reality didn’t match up.

Keiji knew this, and even so he felt his breath catch at the sound of someone climbing up the ladder.

And there he was.

Keiji saw his hair first, something that hadn’t even registered the last time that Keiji had been here. Apparently far too taken with other aspects of the guys appearance to notice the strange style, the strange dye in it. Two-toned, black and white, styled straight up on either side of his head. It was a strange look, it almost made him seem like a bird of some kind, especially combined with those piercing eyes. Eyes that seemed surprised to see Keiji, before relaxing into recognition.

“You’re back!”

Keiji wanted to pretend that he had only just noticed when he called out, but he thought it was hard to hide the fact that his attention had been on where the ladder came up ever since he had heard the tell tale sound of it in use. If the guy had caught him staring, called him out on it, there was little Keiji could come up with to excuse it.

“I am.”

At least the good thing about meeting at this time of the day was that Keiji didn’t have to act eloquent. Anything he said or did he could easily attribute to the hour, even if all that was really happening in his head was not a lot at the moment. Aside from a _damn, he has clothes on today_. His arms and legs were still mostly bared, sun kissed and _Keiji wanted to kiss_ ; but otherwise the guy was in running gear, yet again. 

Keiji had never been one for a morning run, had never been the kind of person who got up earlier than necessary.

Now here he was, lying on the roof of a university building and mingling with a _morning person_ of all types of people. Who would have guessed?

“How long have you been up here for?”

Keiji shrugged, as well as he could for still lying on the floor. He didn’t know what time everyone had left to go to bed. Only known that it was far, _far_ too early for him to be attempting sleep.

“You gonna stay to watch the sun come up again?”

Another shrug, this one meant yes.

He was here now, as much as he had tried to distract himself in other ways, it hadn’t worked. This wouldn’t work either, this would only make the problem worse, but it was also nice to be with someone as dawn broke. It would have been nicer to see in the new day from his own bed while not alone, but Keiji would take what he could.

At the moment it seemed to be this guys company that he craved, or maybe Keiji just wanted to look at him a lot. He hadn’t quite looked into it far enough to tell yet.

Keiji blinked slowly. Funny that he had come here, for this, and now that it was here he wished that he could be in bed, that he wouldn’t have to get up and leave soon. The morning air was still chilly, but lying flat on the roof between the walls around it kept most of the wind out, keeping the temperature at something comfortably cool. A temperature that was strange to be comfortable in, given the number of blankets that he had piled on top of his bed.

The guys face appeared in his vision, close. Too close. “You can’t be falling asleep the sun hasn’t even come up yet!”

“Most people are actually asleep when the sun is down.” Keiji found himself saying. “So why can’t I sleep?”

“You’re here!”

This guy really didn’t need to be so loud when he was bending over Keiji to check if he really was falling asleep. Keiji would have also appreciated it if he sat down next to him, rather than bending over him. Those shorts. Those thighs.

“I want to be in bed.” He wanted to be in bed with his own thoughts, and now those thighs would be in his thoughts. At least it was some other aspect of his anatomy to focus on compared to last time. Last time he had been caught up by arms.

Arms that still flexed nicely as he pulled at Keiji’s arm.

“You can’t! You have to watch it, you’re here!”

“Mmm, I don’t know how that happened.”

Keiji was almost regretting being here. The guy was great for his eyes, and much less so for his ears. Luckily, Keiji’s eyes generally won out.

“Are you drunk?!”

Keiji’s upper half was dropped back to the floor as the guy let go of his hands to gasp. _Ouch_. “I’m not, but I might have a concussion now.” He deadpanned. The statement was meant to make the guy hush, not encourage him to fuss even louder. “It was a joke, I’m fine.”

“Great!” _Great?_ That was a quick turnaround. “But you need to hurry or we’re going to miss it!”

Those hands were on his now, hard and calloused. Ripping him from the floor with ease now that he was desperate for Keiji to get up to see the sun up. If he had really tried earlier, he would have definitely been able to pull Keiji up with no trouble.

A shiver ran down Keiji’s spine at the thought of the guy being able to hold his weight.

 _No_.

Now that he was upright he moved away from the guy, out of that hold, out of his grasp. He needed to get back to his room before he could let his thoughts run around too much.

Moving away didn’t work. It was a combination of being pulled up too fast and lying on the ground motionless for who knew how long, Keiji didn’t. His vision blacked out and he felt his legs collapse. He expected pain, too slow at the moment to do anything to stop himself from hitting the floor. He didn’t expect to be manhandled back onto his feet. Held, back to chest, with this mysterious stranger.

That chest was _hard_ , firm.

Keiji stomped his feet, forcing consciousness back into them, and wrinkling his face at the feeling of pins and needles running throughout his entire lower half. That was unpleasant. That was meant to happen after dangling his legs, not after lying down. And definitely not in front of this guy who despite all of Keiji’s actions and appearances of not caring at all, he actually wanted to kind of impress. To kind of seem aloof and cool and mysterious for being here on the roof in the dead of night, for the break of morning; in the same way that Keiji was intrigued by him. Intrigued by his body at least, smooth curves and firm to the touch, and he was ready to walk again now.

He staggered over to the ledge, facing east and leaning against it. He didn’t trust himself to jump up and sit down after his fall. Thought that it was more likely that he would end up throwing himself off the entire thing, then mysterious handsome stranger wouldn’t be able to do anything to reach him unless he managed to climb down the ladder in a split second and catch him at the bottom.

That would be nice, but Keiji had already noticed the handsome slipping into his name so that was enough daydreaming for now. Soon he could curl up in bed and whatever dreams hit him then he wouldn’t have to think about with the subject _right there_ and he could just enjoy whatever became of them.

He had had exactly two dreams in memory over the last few nights, that were of course days, which involved the sun rising with beefy arms and a cartoon smile. Keiji had been hoping for something a _bit_ _more_ , but that was all he had gotten. So far; now that he had more in his memory bank things might improve.

Except he doesn’t want that. Not really.

The sun came up again, throwing pinks and yellows across the sky. Keiji leaned his weight against the ledge in front of him, pushing away from the body that was still behind him, seeming to be waiting for him to collapse again. It wasn’t far enough though, he could feel the puff of breath on his skin and a hand on his shoulder. Steadying him. It was more likely to make him collapse as silly thoughts went through his head rather than letting his body remember how to resist the call of gravity.

Five minutes into staring at the buildings and Keiji let out a large yawn.

“Sorry.” He covered his mouth up afterwards.

The reply was a beaming smile. “Aren’t you happy that you got to see it though!”

“Mmmm.” Another yawn, “I guess so.”

A gasp, far too dramatic for what was necessary. “You can’t say that, this is the best part of my day!”

“I’m sorry.“

“Why? It’s great to watch, and now I’ve seen it twice with you!”

“If it’s the best part of your day doesn’t it just mean everything is downhill from here?”

“I just like to think that a good thing to start the day sets the mood for the rest of the day.”

Keiji could understand that fine. He started all of his days with going down to lunch, right at the end. That way he could stack his plate up as high as he liked and nobody could complain about someone else missing out on food. He liked starting his day that way. Really, the only strange thing was that this guy was starting his day the way that Keiji was finishing up his day.

“I see, that’s nice.”

“Right!”

Keiji made his way back over to the ladder, now that the sun was in the sky, it was time for him to sleep.

“I think I should go down first this time.”

The guy pulled Keiji away from the ledge by his shoulder. Keiji just looked back at him, curious, wondering, coming up only with horror. He must have been caught staring, earlier when he came up, last time when he went down the ladder and could only look up, up, up at legs above him. Oops. At least he had an answer now. Cut all thoughts, back off, not interested. Maybe chain the thoughts up only until he was alone and then let them loose.

“You already fell today and if you fell down the ladder it would be _really_ bad.”

Abort, he had not been caught staring. His outright ogling was apparently still subtle enough. Perhaps this guy wasn’t quite as aware in the morning as his energy and loudness made him seem. Perhaps he was just as out of it as Keiji was, only in a different way. Keiji couldn’t stop himself from looking, had lost the ability to make it look like he was not looking; and mysterious handsome stranger was apparently oblivious to every single lingering stare.

That worked for him.

Oh boy did it work for him.  


 

Monday night he was back.  


 

Tuesday night he was back.  


 

Wednesday night he was back.  


 

This was not going to become a habit, he was not going to keep doing this to himself. Except he was, he absolutely was. Reeled in with muscle tees and no tees and shorts that should look ridiculous if not for the muscles they showed off underneath them. Tuesday he had even worn compression socks. _Compression socks_. All the way up to his thighs and Keiji had almost started drooling.

Keiji had dreams, and fantasies, and scenarios all planned and plotted in his head. All ready to play when he went back to bed; but reality was never the same, never quite matched up.

The guy with the hair and the arms and the smile - the smile might be the worst of it all. The smile made him human and not just a body, not just something to admire, because he smiled at Keiji. At talking to him and at being with him and for sharing his morning with a stranger.

A stranger.

Because it had been days now and in his head he was still _mysterious handsome stranger_.

Keiji didn’t know anything else.

The guy talked and talked but he never said anything, Keiji never said anything.

There wasn’t even a name.


	3. 4:31 AM

Two weeks, it had been two weeks. He was in trouble, in deep and in trouble because after two weeks he should not _still_ be coming here every morning. Except he was, and he kept finding excuses for it. _It’s warmer now. He didn’t want to wake his roommate up. He needed fresh air. He needed exercise anyway_. He kept making excuses, finding excuses, but there was nobody to tell them too. Nobody else knew that he did this, he didn’t tell anybody else. Keiji just kept making up excuses to avoid the real reason.  


  
And today, now. He definitely shouldn’t have been here now. Going home with someone was meant to make him forget, meant to help him stop the dreams and the fantasies because he couldn’t work himself up to ask for a name.

A name would be bad.

If Keiji had a name to go with the face, with the smile, with the hair, with the body, then it was too much. Having a name would mean that Keiji could ask for more. A backstory, a history, a _present_. Then he’d be asking for a future and he didn’t want that.

Too fast, too much. It had always been the way he worked and the problem was that it _never_ worked.

His mind ran too far ahead of the now and the present and the reality and it put people off. It scared people off.

A body and a smile was easier, it would be easier if he could get it off of his mind.

So when the girl had seemed interested, Keiji had been interested.

It had been nice, it had been fun. It had been hot and it had been sweaty.

It had been everything that Keiji wanted, but then it was not.

Soft, she had been so soft. Soft hair, soft smile, soft words. Soft skin, soft body, soft hands. She had fallen asleep, soft in Keiji’s arms. Soft breath against his skin. Soft bed around him.

Keiji knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep, it was beyond the middle of the night, but still early by his usual standards. It would have been strange for him to just lie awake in her bed while she slept, and in the morning when he should have been leaving he would have finally found slumber. Waking up afterwards, in her bed at lunchtime only seemed like a strange thing to do.

So he left.

It was meant to be enough, and it had been fulfilling in a way that he hadn’t had in a while.

But she was soft, and Keiji had a memory of hard. Hard coarse hands, hard toned chest, hard roof below him.

So despite trying to get away from it all, Keiji found himself climbing that ladder again, a home away from his home away from home. Up on the roof in the warm summery breeze and waiting for sunrise, for the day to break and for his dreams to climb over the ledge and smile at him.

This was not supposed to happen.

Mysterious handsome stranger climbs the ledge with a smile, and that’s the reason that Keiji is here. If he stopped coming he wouldn’t see that smile, if he stopped coming maybe that smile would stop existing. If Keiji wasn’t here, he wouldn’t be smiling that smile. Who smiles like that for nothing, for no one? They talk, small talk as always. The guy has a game on this week that he’s excited for. A game; Keiji doesn’t even know what he plays. He appreciated whatever sport it happened to be for it’s existence though. For being the cause of those muscles, for being the cause of morning runs, for giving Keiji a feast for his eyes.

For his heart too, but he tries to squash that one away. His heart has a habit of piling on too much food, too much to eat, to digest, and Keiji always has to deal with the leftovers.  
  
  


He should stop coming.

He still can’t make himself stop coming.  


  
Keiji walks home in the break of day, the morning light spilling over the world. He’s not the only one walking home. People litter the streets, the walk of shame. He is doing the same too, but not for the girl, shame for the boy he met on the roof who Keiji knows too little about. Knows too little for the too much time his thoughts have dedicated to him.  


  
Another week, he won the game. And this time Keiji leaves his roommates party with his roommates friend and a comment of _trust me_.

Apparently Keiji hasn’t been as secretive in his actions as he had thought.

The boy is hard. A body sculpted of diligent training, and a careful diet. He is fast-paced and rough and raw; but he doesn’t smile, at least not with the energy of the sun behind his lips. He smirks and he curses and Keiji feels good, so good, and afterwards the guy doesn’t fall asleep in Keiji’s arms. Afterwards they order food and he plays games, and Keiji leaves, with a wave, and on good terms, but this isn’t want he needs.  
  
  


Two hours until sunrise.  
  
  


He needs everything. Everything that will be climbing up onto the roof, one and a half hours from now. Everything that will smile at him for always being there first, will smile at him because he doesn’t understand someone who sleeps the morning away, who will smile at him for lazy legs and lazy conversation, and sleepy yawns as they descend.

Keiji needed rough hands to pull him up from his early morning musings, he needed strong arms to keep him from falling over the ledge, he needed a strong body below him - ready to catch him if he fell. He _wanted_ the strong body under him too, or over; he wouldn’t be too fussy on _those_ details.

Which would never happen because they spoke only a few words and nothing that really mattered.

And Keiji had a crush on a boy who was an idea. Keiji had a crush on filling the gaps in words, and stories made up of how mysterious handsome stranger would live his day. On fantasies of what he wanted to do in the future and what his home would look like, and was he a dog person or a cat person? Keiji was betting on dog, they were more excitable, held a more reliable energy. Keiji had a crush on all these things, but none of these things were _real_.

Sleepy conversations were meant to be when the truth came out, but how could that happen when Keiji was so wary of everything. Wary most of all that he was the only one partaking in the _sleepy_ conversations. The other participator thriving on the energy of the earth as it turned and the sun crept up the horizon. He thrived on the energy that Keiji was losing to sleepiness.

Opposites.

How had he gotten this far? Why had he let himself get this far?

The most intimate thing Keiji had shared was that he liked flowers. The songs they sung even when nobody listened, and that often the words they were made to convey went unheeded, unnoticed.

After that he had quietened. That was sleepover talk, that was sleepy talk. That was far too embarrassing a thing to talk about to someone who was awake. Someone who ran here straight after waking up, and then left straight away to do more exercise and to learn and live; whereas Keiji left their meetings to go to sleep.

Keiji lived in the nighttime, in the loneliness of the world after dark, grounded by the lights of the city and the twinkling of the stars above. Marveling at the dust when it lit up in the sky, shooting stars that would grant wishes to those who saw them. Keiji had so many wishes, about the boy who embodied the sun, how could he ever think at all of Keiji who was shadows in the night.  
  
  


The only saving grace for him was assignments, tests. When he wasn’t thinking of alternate models for his textbooks he wrote essays, and made presentations. Saved again when his roommates friend came over to help with an assignment and they spent the night flustering Keiji’s poor roommate who had brought them together, it was fun to do. It was fun to poke fun and to joke, and it was fun and it was fine to know that Keiji wouldn’t be doing it again.

He has three assignments due in at the end of the week, rounding off with a test, but Keiji still makes time to visit the rooftop. He’s always there for around two hours before the sunrise. There’s no reason to be there, nobody else is there. Keiji sits in the quiet and then lays down in the quiet. It’s a rare time now when he’ll sit on the ledge and just watch the city. But sometimes that’s nice to do too. It’s easier to watch the city than to pick out constellations in the stars. He doesn’t know the constellations, maybe he should learn some. Pick them out and chase them across the sky as the seasons changed.

Maybe it’s written in the stars somewhere how this all turns out. If he could read that, maybe Keiji could finally convince himself to give up, or maybe he would be able to convince himself to say something real, to ask something real.  
  
  


Mysterious handsome stranger is sweaty when he climbs up today. More so than usual, hair lopsided and plastered to his head. It should look normal, no longer spiked into whatever the style was called that he preferred, but instead it looked strange, off. Keiji isn’t greeted with a smile today, not the one he was hoping for anyway. All he gets is a small twitch of lips and then silence.

The guy sits on the wall facing east, he doesn’t pull Keiji up from his position, he doesn’t even look back at him. Just sits and faces the city in the distance. Still, unmoving, and it’s jarring for Keiji to see. Keiji had become obsessed with his noise and his movement and now it was gone. He should have been happy, he should have enjoyed the bare back on display, dimples in the skin right above where his shorts lay, lines of tendons running over his back, he pictures the striation of the muscles he knows are there. It’s hard to enjoy when they aren’t moving though, when they aren’t playing beneath the surface, almost struggling to escape the skin that holds them captive.

Keiji picks himself up, and walks himself over, slowly, carefully. If Keiji startles him he might fall off, that’s the last thing he wants. He still hasn’t _done_ anything yet, still doesn’t _know_ anything.

He swings himself over, sits carefully on the ledge. He feels more awake now, just for the anomaly that this guy has become. If he was like this all the time, still, unmoving, quiet, Keiji might have been able to satisfy himself with something else, with someone else. With another body moving in tandem with his. But that didn’t work, because this guy was meant to smile, to shine, to make noise and be alive; and Keiji had become obsessed with that.

And that was real, the real him and wasn’t all a fantasy that he dreamed up. And now it was gone. The reality turned into fantasy which was the opposite of what he wanted. Keiji wanted fantasy to become real and he wanted this guy to talk to him, to talk at him, to say everything and nothing and to blind Keiji with his smile, a warm up for the sun before it burst over the horizon.

This wasn’t what he wanted.

Keiji elbows him in the side, soft, careful. Not hard enough to disrupt him where he sits.

“Good morning.”

His voice is level, soft. None of the exuberance the other man shows whenever he greets Keiji, but it’s the best he can do.

The guy turns to look at him, half a smile on his face, not even a shadow of his regular smile. “Isn’t it meant to be good night?” He says, apparently even like this he can joke. Keiji feels a weight he had not even noticed ease off his shoulders. There’s still one hanging in his chest.

“It’s morning for you.”

“It’s not good though.”

“How can you know if it hasn’t started yet? The day hasn’t started yet so you can’t say it’s bad.”

“I can.” He says. “It is.”

Keiji doesn’t know what to say to that, he doesn’t know anything about the guy, nothing of importance. He doesn’t know what's wrong, doesn’t know him well enough to ask what's wrong. All he has to offer is his presence. It’s not much, it probably won’t help, but it can’t hurt.

He’s heard the saying _time heals all wounds_ , but he didn’t think it worked over a few minutes. Keiji is shocked when the sun makes itself fully known above the horizon and turns to find it’s twin in place.

“Ah! It’s so beautiful isn’t it!”

Keiji agrees, too shocked by the change in his companion to voice anything.

“Anyway, you should be getting into bed, it’s late!”

The guy springs from the ledge, almost dangerously fast, and then he’s pulling Keiji over. He lets it happen. The change in mood has brought his object of desire back to reality, he will do whatever it takes to keep him here.

Keiji is pulled off the ledge and caught in those arms, by that body. Rippling beautifully in the sunlight, shadows forming over the ridges and curves as they move. Body warm from the sun. Keiji doesn’t say anything still, keeps the quiet. Follows as the guy climbs down the ladder, always first so that he can catch Keiji if he falls while he’s falling asleep.

At the bottom Keiji watches as his mysterious handsome stranger trains his haunting eyes on him, following his movements every rung until he jumps down the bottom of the ladder.

“I hope you’re studying before you climb up there, exams fucking suck!” He exclaims.

“I have been.” Keiji replies.

The guy mumbles something under his breath, and Keiji can’t hear, but can maybe deduce that tests and assignments were the cause of his strange mood this morning.

“I have a test tomorrow.” He continues.

“Ew, I had one yesterday.”

Keiji hums, he definitely thinks that had something to do with the guys mood this morning.

“Good night!” He calls, and wanders away.

“Good night.” Keiji calls long after he’s gone.  
  
  


The next morning it’s only at the end of their routine that Keiji gets handed a four leaf clover. “For luck in your exams.” He had apparently waited until they were almost separated to give it to him. Why?

Keiji feels his chest grow warm. “Thanks.” He stutters out.

Mysterious handsome stranger heads off to wherever it is he goes in the mornings, and Keiji walks home, clover held tightly in his hands.

The one secret Keiji had told.

Fuck.

_It was only for luck. It was only for luck. It was only for luck._


	4. 4:26 AM

Keiji was warm, and that was bad. His skin was toasty and he could feel it on his face, and from behind his closed eyes was the glare, and that was bad. The sun was up, Keiji had missed it. A month of every morning, shared mornings; a brilliant smile lighting up golden eyes, tanned skin pulled tight over muscles, touches that Keiji took too much note of, took too much pleasure in. His new favourite routine, shattered and broken.

He had fallen asleep.

It was tests, exams. The mid-semester coming up to ruin everything. Why did all of his specially chosen afternoon classes have morning exams? Keiji wasn’t built for mornings, had thought that now he was here with his _university given freedom_ that he would never have to see them again, save for late into the night. Keiji didn’t want to experience mornings, to have to live through them, to be awake for them. The last thing Keiji wanted was to need to be alert in the morning, to have his grade balancing on his academic performance in the morning.

Reluctantly he had asked; he had gone up and asked if he could sit the exam in the afternoon, the afternoon before or the afternoon after he didn’t care, he just didn’t want to sit it in the morning. That hadn’t worked at all. They had asked why, for a doctors certificate, for a medical reason, but all Keiji had was that he didn’t function in the morning. _No good, too bad. You don’t get to sit it at a different time just so you can sleep in_.

It wasn’t sleeping in. It was when Keiji slept, full stop.

He couldn’t convince himself to sleep early, so he had stayed up. Running on caffeine and willpower, he had sat through the test. Then, in what he now thought had been a rather rash decision, Keiji had decided to just keep it up until the next day so that he wouldn’t ruin his sleeping pattern.

His sleeping pattern, as if what Keiji considered his sleeping pattern was normal by someone else’s standards. To anybody else it would seem like Keiji’s sleeping patterns were already ruined, but they weren’t. They were his and they worked, and they resulted in nighttime rituals of watching the sun rise, and now he had slept through it.

If he had only napped, he would have been awake for it.

Now he was basking in the sunlight, on the roof of the building because of course he had climbed up. Sleepy and perhaps a little delirious as he had been, still running origins and insertions through his head even though he didn’t need them any more.

Then he must have slept, he hadn’t even noticed. Keiji must have just drifted off, and mysterious handsome stranger must have climbed up with that smile, and then probably laughed. Loudly and obnoxiously to see Keiji asleep up here, he knew the laugh, could picture the way it looked in his head, the way it sounded. He must have been very much asleep to not have heard it. Keiji must have really, _really_ needed to sleep; knew that he had really, _really_ needed to sleep. It didn’t stop him from being upset that he had missed out on his favourite thing, the best part of his day.

So lost was he in thoughts that he hadn’t even realised that one part of his warmth was moving. Rhythmically, constantly, circulating. Breath, warm breath on the side of his face.

Someone else was asleep up here with him.

Keiji’s heart rocketed in his chest and he wanted to jump up, to flee, to run. To throw himself over the ledge, the fastest way down, because someone was asleep here next to him and he didn’t know who.

“Oi! Bokuto!”

Keiji didn’t recognise the voice, he had no idea who was next to him.

“Bokuto!”

The voice was actually too far away for it to belong to the person next to him, the steady cycle of breathing continuing against his cheek. He didn’t want to open his eyes, didn’t want to confront whoever this was. Hopefully the shouting and the noises, and maybe even the sun and the warmth would wake the person up. They could leave and Keiji would always remember the experience but never have to always have an eye open for this strange person who apparently wanted to curl up next to strangers on rooftops.

“You lazy fucking owl! I can’t believe you made me climb all the way up here.”

The voice was closer, a groan sounded in Keiji’s ear.

“Five more minutes Kuroo.”

“What the fuck dude?”

The sound of someone jumping over the ledge. There was someone else up here with him. He was going to be killed, he should have never come up here, should have never continued coming up here. Of course gangs wouldn’t come up here at night, too obvious, right next to the security building. During the daytime was much less suspicious, would raise less concerns. How quickly would they find Keiji’s body? Would they ever? Would it be left here until the next morning and his handsome stranger would find him here? Stiff and smelling from a day in the sun.

He didn’t want that, he also didn’t think he could take on two people. If he kept sleeping though, if he made it believable, maybe they would leave him alone. They would think that he never knew any better and he would be safe. Perhaps he would have eyes on him in the shadows, watching to see if he would snitch. Keiji could live with that, he could not live with being dead.

The breathing quickened against Keiji’s skin, and then it was gone. He could hear the shuffling of the body the breath belonged to pulling away.

“Shh, he’s still asleep.” It was strange to hear that voice, that loud exuberant voice, talking quietly. Keiji almost couldn’t recognise it.

“What the _fuck_ Bokuto.” The other voice continued.

 _Bokuto_ , such a nice sound, such a nice name. A name for a face, for a body, for a smile. In all honesty, it was a name for that hair, ridiculously spiked up on his head for _Bokuto_.

“Shut _up_ Kuroo. Why are you even here?” The voice was still quiet, _his_ voice, _Bokuto_ ’s voice, and yet Keiji could hear the force lying beneath it. He was unhappy.

“You missed practice dude! I knew you’d be here, but I didn’t realise you came up here to sleep with Akaashi! He’s not someone to miss practice for.”

“Who?”

“Akaashi Keiji.” Keiji struggled not to open his eyes. He was convinced now that he wasn’t going to be jumped or stabbed or thrown off the edge, but this conversation almost seemed worse for him to wake up to. It was a struggle not to look though, because he didn’t know that other voice, didn’t recognise that other voice. So how did this other person know him? “That guy, right there.”

“Akaashi?” Bokuto said his name slowly, and Keiji felt the sound reverberate through his body. How nice, to hear his name in that voice, in that tone. Had his name ever sounded quite so nice before? “How do you know him?”

“How do you not know him? Takako was talking about him the other day and pointed him out to us.”

Silence.

“Never mind actually, I don’t think it was you that was with us.”

Ah, so he was friends with her, it was strange to think that Keiji had been talked about after that night. After he had left her to her slumber and run away here to meet with _Bokuto_ , mysterious handsome _Bokuto,_ but at least now he knew how he was known.

“Wait, is this why you’ve been so happy when you come to practice lately?” Even Keiji was able to detect the teasing lilt of the voice. He had to work to hide a smile as he heard Bokuto squawk at the question.

“I’m always happy!”

“Yeah right.”

“No, I don’t know he just showed up one day and then kept showing up.”

“So he’s allowed to, but when I wanted to come you said it was for you only!”

“Kuroo _shhh_ , what if he wakes up.”

“Should we not be waking him up? Won’t he have somewhere to be? I mean you already missed practice I’m sure he’s missed out on something too.”

“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t make plans in the morning.”

 _Bokuto_ definitely got that right. The only plans Keiji made for mornings were to lie in bed, preferably buried under a thousand blankets to hide from the sun that beat it’s way through the window. He didn’t know what time it was now, but Keiji was sure that he would have been asleep had it been any other day and had he not fallen asleep on the roof.

“So you know all of his plans but you can’t even remember your own. The coach was so pissed and I don’t think he’s gonna like the excuse of you sleeping through it.”

All that followed was a loud groan from Bokuto, and other words that Keiji could no longer hear. Lost to the sound of them both climbing down the ladder, away from Keiji, he was alone once again.

He opened his eyes, squinting as the light assaulted his eyes. The sun was sitting pretty high over the buildings. It was still morning, Keiji wouldn’t have missed lunch. He waited on the roof for a while, a few minutes. Just enough time to make sure that _Bokuto_ and his friend would be gone. If he went down too quickly after they had gone they would know that he had to have been awake, to have overheard.

 _Bokuto_.

Keiji had a name, and given that his friend, _Kuroo_ , had known _his_ name. Bokuto now knew Keiji’s as well.  
  
  


A name. Keiji had a name.

Knowing a name was so small, but Keiji felt that in another day when he was up here, Bokuto would climb over the rail and Keiji could say _good morning Bokuto-san_ and that would be enough. He could say that and it was a start and maybe one day he could learn something else. Even if it involved him falling asleep again.

Maybe he could learn what sport it was that Bokuto played, learn what it was about the sport that allowed Bokuto to build those muscles up, Keiji could think about how they were used and how they would move. And if they were still doing this next next semester maybe Bokuto could be the subject for his biomechanics paper. Then he could have an excuse to look at those muscles, closely, as much as he wanted. See how they moved and glided beneath the surface. He would need to meet Bokuto elsewhere.

He was getting ahead of himself again, but that didn’t matter for now because _Bokuto_ had a name, Keiji had a name in his head to go with all the other information that he had filed away.

It was a start.

But Keiji didn’t even get to say it first.

 

 _  
Bokuto_ burst over the roof the next morning. “Akaashi!” Had his name ever been said before with quite so much flair? With so much energy? How nice it sounded, dragged out and extended that way. “Did you have a good night? How did your exam go? I hope you slept well yesterday! You looked cute while you were sleeping so I didn’t want to wake you, you must have been really tired!”

Keiji was aware of the abundance of questions. Part of him was happy to hear them, they must mean that Bokuto got at least _some_ enjoyment from his company here. The other part of him was caught up in the middle of Bokuto’s rambling.

 _Cute, cute, cute_. Bokuto had called him _cute_.

“I think my exam went well Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto brightened up at Keiji’s use of his name, or maybe it was for Keiji saying that his exams went well.

“Sorry for falling asleep yesterday.”

“Don’t worry about it!” Bokuto chirped, drawing Keiji up by the hand, leading him over to the ledge by the hand. “When I saw you sleeping there I figured that you must have been _really_ tired. It would probably have been dangerous to wake you up and make you climb down.”

“Probably,” he agreed, “thank you Bokuto-san.”

 

  
Keiji liked being able to say his name, now that he knew his name. Matching it up with his strange hairstyle, that now maybe _kind of made sense_ if Bokuto liked to dress according to his name. His haunting eyes matched the image as well, burning bright and golden, the sun burning from within his body. Bokuto smiled, beaming at him. Keiji felt like maybe the sun had already risen. Had Bokuto learning his name brought this on too? Was he happy now at this, this small change in their relationship?

Perhaps Bokuto had also been held back by the awkwardness of asking the name of someone that he had been talking to for weeks. It was a strange happenstance. It had only been meant to happen that one time, so what was the point in a name? Now though, it had turned into a habit for Keiji. His favourite part of the day, so much his favourite part of the day that he came here all the time, hours before he knew that Bokuto would get here. Just so that he wouldn’t accidentally fall asleep in his bed.

If Keiji missed coming here he would miss that smile.

He wondered if Bokuto had sent that smile to him even while he was sleeping. Keiji couldn’t believe that he had missed it. Every day for all those days, and he had fallen asleep and missed it. Had missed Bokuto’s warm smile, his warm body, his warm presence.

Except he hadn’t really missed all that.

Bokuto had been curled up next to Keiji when he had first woken up. Warm body, curled around Keiji’s own, breath puffing against Keiji’s skin.

Bokuto had cuddled up next to him and fallen asleep next to him.

Keiji had been so rattled over actually having fallen asleep, and then at Bokuto and his friend talking together up here, and at learning a name, _finally a name_ , that he had completely forgotten that Bokuto had been next to him.  
  
How could he have forgotten that?

How many times lately had he been trying to push the thought of Bokuto sharing his bed away? How often had he been thinking of what that body would feel like against his? Not as protection but as comfort, and companionship, and he had had that, exactly that, just yesterday.

“It was actually nice sleeping up here, the ground was a bit hard, but it was warmer than I would have expected it to be.”

Bokuto flushed, his face burning a light red, and Keiji thought it was beautiful.

Bokuto kicked gently at Keiji’s legs where they were hanging next to each other. “It’s called the sun. After we watch it come up it actually hangs around all morning, it’s pretty nice actually.”

“Wow!” Keiji smiled, enjoying Bokuto’s playful tone. He would let him off for now. Keiji had enough to fuel him for now. Bokuto had lain next to him. And maybe it was nothing, but it was maybe also could be the start of something. Anything.

Keiji had a crush, but really he would take anything. If Bokuto wanted to just be his friend then Keiji would take that. Just had to push away the feelings that he had built up on an image. Bokuto could still turn out to be different from his image. But Keiji was used to having to push away his feelings, if it needed to happen then it happened. It was no different to usual.

But as Keiji felt Bokuto’s legs resting against his own, the sun peeking out over the buildings, he thought that he wouldn’t mind being friends, but maybe Bokuto wouldn’t mind being more.

The sun started to peek up over the city, and Keiji had never felt happier.


	5. 4:25 AM

The start of June worried Keiji for the looming presence of the rainy season. The weather had been kind so far. The sun largely dominating the sky, and there only a few moments where the clouds looked ominous overhead, threatening rain but never following through. It had been like that for a good two weeks, and so despite the season, it’s a surprise to Keiji when what he knows to be the civil twilight ticks over with a smattering of rain.

It’s only a drizzle at first, nothing that he’s inherently worried about. Nothing that makes Keiji think that Bokuto won’t show up. Even when the clouds had looked dark and scary overhead Bokuto had climbed up the ladder to find Keiji waiting, _always waiting_ , early and waiting for Bokuto to greet him.

Bokuto always greeted him first, apart from that one time. Keiji tried to get the first word in sometimes, but he was apparently bad at guessing how close Bokuto was when he heard the creaking of the ladder. Now with the rain pattering on the roof around him, and the roar of it in his ears, he almost jumps when Bokuto leaps over and shouts a greeting, he hadn’t heard the ladder at all. Hadn’t had time to look for Bokuto’s appearance.

“Good morning Akaashi!”

“Good morning Bokuto-san.” Keiji replies, with much less exuberance than Bokuto shares with his greeting. “I thought you might not come today.”

He had thought that, but hoped for it not to be true. Because despite this happening every day, Keiji is waiting for the one day where it won’t. He will cast a wish on every shining spec of dust that leaves a trail in the sky for Bokuto to always show up. It works, it always works. Even now, when the weather has upgraded from a drizzle to downright pouring and either one of them could get sick for being out here on the roof at this time, Keiji will still wish for Bokuto to come.

Keiji sits up from where he had been lying. His top is drenched and sticking to his skin and Bokuto … has on only the tiniest of shorts and Keiji was not prepared for that view. Not with water cascading down over his tanned, muscular body. Droplets catching on his skin, shining, and washing away as more rain hits him. His hair is plastered flat on his face from the rain, it makes him look different, younger, softer, and Keiji isn’t quite sure how he feels about it.

He feels like he would like to pull it back up to it’s regular shape, but pulling at Bokuto’s hair is something for his dreams, not for now. Not for the rooftop in the middle of the pouring rain, even if it seems like something from a movie.

“Why don’t you have clothes on?”

Keiji can ask this now. Can pretend to be offended, even if he likes this look, loves this look, will be running this Bokuto through his mind while he cleans himself up later, will have this image in his mind. An image where he can follow through on pulling at Bokuto’s hair.

“It’s raining.”

He stops there, as if that is enough for Keiji to go on. It isn’t. Not unless he was counting on Keiji to fawn over him with the way he looks in this weather; but Keiji hasn’t gleamed any information of that sort from Bokuto. His actions and touches don’t speak of anything other than friendship. Keiji spends long enough analysing every interaction, every look, every touch, every word, that as soon as Bokuto _seems_ like something more wouldn’t be unappreciated Keiji will attack.

For now he will wait, _patient_. He can keep Bokuto as a friend, and keep this time together with him as long as he doesn’t rush ahead, as long as he doesn’t shoot too soon.

His habit is running ahead of himself. The thought of having Bokuto though makes him pull back, makes him fully separate what is happening in his head and in his dreams from what happens on the rooftop. He can do this, he will do this properly.

“Exactly, so shouldn’t you have a jacket on?”

“You don’t.”

“It wasn’t raining when I got here.”

Keiji says it, and then realises it might be a giveaway as to how long he spends here in the morning. Bokuto comes up a few minutes before the sun is due to, and then they always climb down together. He might think it’s weird that Keiji often spends hours up here. After all, it’s not like he does anything other than sit and watch the stars or the lights of the city, and meanwhile his mind runs scenarios through his head that one day he might be brave enough to put into action.

“Oh I see!” He says, as if he’s the one confused by Keiji’s state of dress, when Bokuto has decided to forego dressing at all today. “Getting clothes wet means that I have to dry them off later, but doing this it’s almost like having a shower and it’s _way_ easier to dry off at home!”

Bokuto swipes a hand down over his chest at his words. Keiji finds himself following the movement, watching as he splashes droplets off of his skin in smooth movements, even as more water comes to take it’s place on his body.

“I see.” Keiji says, tearing his eyes back up to Bokuto’s face, which seems to have an extra sparkle to it, even in the rain.

Bokuto goes to sit on the ledge, and complains about the water soaking through his shorts. Keiji sits next to him without complaint, he’s already soaked through.

“Here!” Bokuto scoots himself closer to Keiji, and Keiji feels Bokuto wrap an arm around his body, can feel the pressure of it burning through his clothes where it sits, perhaps Bokuto has a point about this no clothes thing. “You must be cold if you’ve been in the rain for a while, and I’ve been told I run hot!”

“Mmm, by anyone who’s seen you running.” Keiji bites his tongue, that had been meant for his head and not his mouth. He stares resolutely across the city to where the sun will be attempting to force it’s way through the clouds, he’s not optimistic for it today. He ignores the burning stare into his side, can feel Bokuto’s piercing eyes on him; but Keiji doesn’t want to evaluate whatever look his words had caused. Not yet, not right now, not when he’s apparently lost his brain to mouth filter, it's been washed out of him in the rain.

Bokuto’s arm stays in place, so Keiji doesn’t worry _too_ much.

They sit there for a good half an hour Keiji thinks. It’s a tad bit lighter outside, but other than that there was no tell that the sun had come up, even though it must have. The clouds today are far too dark and far too thick for it to be obvious that the sunrise is over. That their time together has finished for another day. If Keiji wasn’t so sleepy and wet and cold from being in the rain all morning he would have drawn the moment out. However, as he is all those things he decides he really does need to leave.

He grasps at Bokuto’s arm, holding onto it as he twists off the ledge. His arm is hard with muscle and his skin slick from the rain, and Keiji clings to him tightly, squeezing harder than necessary and holding longer than necessary as he acts to make sure he won’t slip on the wet roof. He’s soaked through now, and his feet squelch in his shoes as he walks across to the ladder down. Bokuto races across the roof and slides into place at the ladder, as always ensuring that he goes down first. He has so few clothes on today that Keiji _really_ would rather go down first to keep an eye on the view above him; but he knows that Bokuto always climbs first to keep him from falling. It’s sweet, and it’s caring, and Keiji likes that Bokuto is looking out for him. That’s nicer than any view, so he doesn’t mind too much.

“Will you be here tomorrow?” Bokuto asks.

“Of course.” Keiji replies, not even needing to think about it. The arrival of the rainy season won’t keep him from seeing Bokuto in the morning, assuming that it won’t be keeping Bokuto away.

“Great! I’ll see you tomorrow then!” Bokuto cheers, running off and disappearing into the mist of the rain. Keiji smiles, Bokuto’s muscles move nicely when he runs, shifting beneath his skin.

 

  
When Keiji shows up the next morning on the roof it’s pouring with rain and he’s actually amazed that he made it up without slipping off the ladder and falling to his death. With his life on the line, he really should stop coming here, but his heart will never let him.

There’s an umbrella lying in the middle of the roof. Keiji eyes it warily, it hadn’t been there yesterday, and it’s weird to think that someone must have left it there in the last twenty four hours. It’s strange to think that other people climb up here, even though it shouldn’t be that strange that other people climb up here. It’s just that Keiji has thought of this as _their_ space, and he feels a little protective over it. If he ever has to actually share it with someone else in this time that was theirs he’s not sure how he would react, how he would feel.

Instead of lying on the floor as per usual Keiji rests up against the cage of the fan, umbrella propped open to cover him. There’s a certain ambience around him in this weather, and this position and location, at this time of night that makes him feel like he should be writing poetry. If he did, if he wrote, he would write pages and pages on the way Bokuto’s smile lit up the world around him and the way his body constantly shifts with movement. Graceful, for someone who appears to be anything but.

Bokuto doesn’t pull him up today, instead after his customary greeting he shuffles in next to Keiji, once more undressed. If it’s raining again tomorrow Keiji might rethink his own outfit before coming up. If he felt Bokuto’s warm skin against his own he’d probably explode, but Keiji thinks he would be okay with that scenario as long as he died with that feeling on his skin.

“I’m glad you found it!” Bokuto says, pointing to the umbrella above them. “I threw it up after my last class and I wasn’t sure if it would have stayed here or bounced off somewhere else!”

“You left it here?” Keiji is surprised by the notion, and a little relieved to hear that it hadn’t been someone else intruding on their space. “Thank you Bokuto-san, that’s very considerate.”

He almost feels blinded by the smile, can see the after image of it burned into his eyes even after Bokuto has turned away to look at the sky again. This time he’s the one left staring while Bokuto looks away, not even at anything he has said. Just that he had cared enough to leave an umbrella up here for him, for them.

Bokuto is warm, so warm, and the patter of the rain on the umbrella above him makes him feel sleepy. Keiji feels his head nod forward, and multiple times he has to shake himself back to awareness. He can’t fall asleep on the roof in the rain, it will end in nothing more than sickness, which would stop him from coming up again until he recovered. When he finds himself nodding off and his head ending up on Bokuto’s shoulder though, it’s hard to care.

It’s harder to care about personal space, invading space, that for all this time together Keiji would say that he still doesn’t know Bokuto _that_ well, when Bokuto shifts.

Keiji’s head in his lap now, Bokuto’s hands in his hair.

Keiji has to shift as well to make the position comfortable. He has his head here now, the rest of his body can make adjustments to compensate. The new position makes Keiji even sleepier. He is encased in warmth, their own dry little bubble of warmth amidst the rain pouring down and the dark, grey sky around them. The sun should be coming up around now, but the world is getting darker for Keiji, his eyes slipping shut. Bokuto’s hands move rhythmically in his hair, brushing it away from his face, brushing his hand down behind Keiji’s ears.

It’s nice, it’s soothing, and Keiji falls asleep before he can think of anything else it might be.

 

  
“Hey, hey, hey.” Again Keiji was amazed by how quiet that voice could be at times. “Hey, hey, hey.” He felt his shoulder being squeezed, could connect the dots, knew that Bokuto was trying to wake him up. Keiji made a small noise to let Bokuto know that he was somewhat conscious. “I need to get to practice. If I miss another one the coach won’t let me play.”

“Practice.” Keiji repeated the word, it was the only thing that had really stuck in his head. Bokuto had missed practice the last time Keiji fell asleep up here.

“Volleyball practice.” Bokuto’s hands went back to stroke through Keiji’s hair. His voice whispering a melody into his ear, and really it was doing the opposite of waking him up. “One hour in the morning and then two hours at night.”

Bokuto playing volleyball was _interesting_ to say the least. Keiji had played volleyball in high school. He had enjoyed it, but it had ruled his life and he had been happy at university to live with his preferred routine, decidedly volleyball-less. Although it was jarring to think that if he had continued playing he might have met Bokuto earlier. It would have been different, they wouldn’t have had these moments on the roof to themselves, it would have always been them and a group of other guys. They might have met earlier, more often, but Keiji preferred this timeline, this meeting, this time spent together.

“I’m awake.” He didn’t want Bokuto to miss practice, again, because of him.

“Barely!” Bokuto had the audacity to laugh at him, even when Keiji was slow and sleepy, how cruel.

“You woke me up, so if I’m still asleep it’s your bad for not doing a good enough job.

“I was trying to wake you up gently.”

Keiji felt warm and fuzzy on the inside. “I appreciate it Bokuto-san.” The smile Keiji was met with at the words was worth waking up for.

“Do you want the umbrella for the way home?”

“I’ll be fine,” Keiji said. “I need to wash up before bed anyway.”

“Great! I’ll leave it here for tomorrow then!”

 _Tomorrow_ , that was such a nice word. A promise.

“See you tomorrow, Bokuto-san.”

A smile, a farewell, only until tomorrow.


	6. 4:35 AM

Keiji is thankful that the rain only lasted a few days. Every night before he had gone he had started spending more and more time considering his state of dress, considering making it a state of undress. He didn’t know why, it was silly and it was ridiculous and he should not have been considering walking onto campus barely dressed.

He was thankful for the fact that his roommate slept with a sleep mask at these times, if he had woken up to see Keiji deciding whether or not to _wear clothes or not_ , Keiji wasn’t sure if he could ever face him again.

 

  
It was another problem entirely though to sit up on the roof in the muggy heat of the city. The clouds hanging low and threatening in the sky, trapping in a damp heat. It didn’t help Keiji at all. Bokuto covered in sweat was _far_ more attractive than Bokuto drenched in rain. Sweat meant that his hair was up, styled to match his name, but that he still glistened, skin shining in the light that caught on him. It was beautiful, he was beautiful.

 

  
Volleyball, it was volleyball that made Bokuto look the way he did. Keiji had once been a setter, strength settling in his shoulders, the rest of him simply lean. Bokuto was muscular everywhere, legs sturdy and perfect for jumping. Keiji pinned him as a wing spiker, possibly the mood maker of the team. He also definitely trained outside of the practice hours he had told Keiji. As well as the running he did in the morning, he had to be doing weights of some description. Muscles weren’t just built that way, that took time and effort.

Keiji was appreciative of every second Bokuto had put in to his body, one day he would like to appreciate every second of it in his.

He enjoys Bokuto like this, enjoys not having to get wet in order to see him, but without the rain and huddling up under the umbrella there is no real excuse for the closeness they had shared on those rainy days. It’s only partway through the season, there are plenty more opportunities for rain, but even so, Keiji can’t help but want it back now.

He just wants the closeness back now, wants it back before it gets too far out of reach, before the space between them has a chance to expand. Before someone else has the opportunity to get in between.

 

  
Keiji isn’t thankful per say, except that he kind of is, when Bokuto comes up once more, quietly, silently, going to sit on the ledge without dragging Keiji over with him. He doesn’t like this Bokuto, stressed, depressed, with exams around the corner he has seen it in various people in varying degrees; but a quiet Bokuto doesn’t feel natural. A Bokuto that doesn’t smile, _that can’t smile_ , big and beaming and bright enough to rival the sun, the Bokuto that can’t do that just doesn’t seem right.

This is the part where Keiji _is_ thankful. He stands up himself, and goes to sit next to Bokuto, close, closer than he would allow himself were Bokuto not so withdrawn. Their thighs are touching, and Keiji is even brave enough to swing an arm around Bokuto, although not so brave as to rest his hand on his waist. He sits his hand on the ledge, the other side of Bokuto. Still, his arm is across Bokuto’s back, embracing him. Hopefully comforting him.

“Morning Bokuto-san.” Keiji doesn’t add the good, wary that the addition didn’t work out too well last time Bokuto had exams. He doesn’t ask how Bokuto is doing either, thinks that Bokuto is displaying quite well how he is feeling.

Keiji lets the silence sit. Watches the sun bathe the city in light, even as he’s largely concentrated on the heat burning into him from his right side. Seeping into his body from where he’s resting up against Bokuto.

Bokuto makes no move to leave once their usual time together is up, and Keiji only has an empty bed waiting for him in his room, so he stays too. Not quite comfortable leaving Bokuto on the edge of a roof when he’s like this.

He wants to break the silence, but the only thing Keiji has to talk about is studying for exams, which wouldn’t quite break Bokuto out from his distressed state. Instead Keiji passes on stories that his roommate shares with him. Some of them seem too ridiculous to be true, but when they start putting a smile back on Bokuto’s face he doesn’t really care if they have been embellished beyond belief. They have done the job, and Keiji even feels himself becoming happier, as Bokuto starts to lean back into him.

Keiji ended up sleeping past lunch for the first time. A product of staying later with Bokuto, sleeping later. He found that he didn’t mind, the persistent rumbling of his empty stomach was nothing when he still had the memory of Bokuto’s body pressing back against his own.

 

  
Keiji had a problem.

That problem was exams, and how they were affecting Bokuto. Sweet, excited Bokuto who had now become sullen, silent Bokuto. Which Keiji found cute and alluring, and which encouraged him to give encouragement, generally in a physical form. A hug. Keiji got to hug Bokuto _every single morning_ and it would have been nicer if Bokuto was happy and not in this pre-exam stress mood, but Keiji would take what he could. Stay longer, sleep later, and rush into his first lecture in the afternoon sustaining himself on nothing but coffee and sometimes a cake from the campus shop. He thought the change was worth it. To fulfill this small desire of his. It was selfish, and something he wouldn’t even feel brave enough to try if Bokuto greeted him with a smile full of sunshine. It was only in the name of comfort that he could bridge that physical gap.

 

  
When they’re trapped by the rain again it’s even nicer. Keiji can press closer under the illusion of needing to be dry, can hug harder because huddling together to be dry isn’t the same as cuddling for comfort. They are different, and the pressure of his touch needs to reflect both of these things.

It has nothing or maybe everything to do with the fact that even in this forlorn mood Bokuto still comes up in the rain barely dressed. He’s not happy, and Keiji only feels a little bit guilty for being happy given the circumstances.

After this second bout of rain that sees out the month, Bokuto comes up to the rooftop dry, but with his hair still in his face. Keiji doesn’t like it one bit, he doesn’t think it suits him. Soft hair hanging over his face was a lie, Bokuto was meant to have his hair spiked up, to match his name, to match his very being. Eccentric, loud, excitable. Not this soft, fluffy thing his hair was now.

It’s continued presence atop Bokuto’s head is what makes Keiji reach out, finally, to run his fingers through Bokuto’s hair. He makes sure not to pull it while his hands are there, fingers are there. Even though the opportunity presents itself Keiji is not ready for the ramifications of doing so. Also doesn’t want to do so whilst Bokuto is in this stressed mood.

Bokuto’s hair is soft, which is a surprise. Keiji thought it might have been damaged by days and months and possibly years of gel use. It’s soft and silky, and _so, so nice_ , and Keiji needs to remember this. Needs to build up to doing this when Bokuto is happy again, because none of these touches count.

They don’t count, he’s taking advantage of a Bokuto who is sullen. Keiji wouldn’t be brave enough to do so when Bokuto was happy and excitable. He needs to be brave enough to touch then, to embrace then, to run his hands through spiked up hair then. Touches that count, are ones that Keiji isn’t giving under the illusion of comfort. Touches that count are ones he can claim without needing another excuse, without feeling like he needs to find one.

He doesn’t think Bokuto would mind, but he still needs to make himself do it.

 

  
At least for these exams Keiji has learned, he knows better. For the two exams that he unfortunately had to be awake and sitting in the morning, he naps. A couple of hours in the darkness, and a couple of hours in the afternoon afterwards. Then he can still make it to the rooftop, can still make it to see Bokuto. Who sometimes has the energy to put his hair up, and other days it’s down. Keiji doesn’t know what separates these days, thinks that it must be exams, but doesn’t know which hairstyle refers to an exam being completed, being sat that day, or even just coming up soon.

The unfortunate thing is when exams end. Results haven’t come out yet, but Bokuto bounces back immediately and Keiji thinks he might have a heart attack; whether that comes now or when he makes it back to his bed, his body hasn’t decided yet.

Compression tights, shirtless; and Keiji might have had wet dreams about this very look if he hadn’t been consciously running them through his mind instead. Bokuto can’t do this to him, can’t give him weeks of agony and the wrong hair and Bokuto being subdued and then go straight into this. Keiji was not ready.

He also can’t quite tell if these stop at his thighs like the others had, or if they cover his whole leg. He searches, for a flash of skin, for the place he thinks he’d most like to run his fingers over, his lips over. The sacred zone.

And then Bokuto catches him looking.

“I have to wear them to keep my muscles warm.” That wasn’t what Keiji was interested in, but maybe Bokuto would get there. “Kuroo spilled that I jog, rest for a while, and then jog again without stretching in between.” Bokuto shudders, and Keiji thinks that there must be something else to the story. That somehow Bokuto had gotten in trouble for this, and Keiji feels like he should feel guilty, but according to Bokuto himself he was doing this long before Keiji ever showed up. “So coach made me wear these, which suck.” Bokuto runs a hand down to his groin and Keiji’s eyes unashamedly follow it. “Because they keep pulling around here, I asked if I could wear my tights but he was having none of it. Said I got a lot of jump from my glutes and _my_ compress doesn’t help that.”

Keiji had never before wished so much for Bokuto not to be next to him. That was an invitation if he had ever heard one. A free pass to look at Bokuto’s ass and have a reason for it, have a cover up. Perhaps he could have even complimented it; because Keiji has spent a lot of time admiring Bokuto’s physique, but never quite from the backside. Which was a shame, all that jumping showed in his thighs, it would show elsewhere too.

Then again, Keiji had enough fuel for his bed tonight, any more and he might actually have a heart attack, a nosebleed, too much blood filling too many places and he might pass out.

Bokuto could do that to him, without even knowing. He might never know.

When they climb down Keiji watches after Bokuto’s form as he runs away. _Yes_ , those glutes were nice, and needed protecting. Keiji could worship them, will worship them. His own health and wellbeing be damned; the reality of Bokuto is far more enticing than any fantasy Keiji could dream up. The only thing he changes is the tights, puts Bokuto in his own compression gear, and nothing else. Keiji loves that his brain only needs to fill in a small portion of this image. Fills it in generously, modestly, it doesn’t matter because Keiji is sure Bokuto will smash expectations there too. If only Keiji can brace himself in order to make a real move.

 

  
Keiji is still awake and panting and sated when his roommate comes back.

“If this,” he waves at Keiji in the bed, “at this time is going to be a regular thing, please leave a note I don’t need to see this side of you.”

Keiji is too blissed out and in his own mind to care.

Keiji spends the whole day after he actually wakes up in a state of zen. He’s missed lunch again for sleeping too late, but what is food compared to this, the energy of the world and of Keiji’s love for a boy he still knows nearly nothing about.

Volleyball, university, watches the sunrise everyday. These are the only significant things he knows. Yet still Keiji has fallen in love with his smile, and his body, _wow that body_ , his excitement and exuberance, the way he styles his hair, the way his hand feels in Keiji’s for those brief seconds where he’s pulling Keiji to the edge of the roof. If Bokuto ever jumped off Keiji would be quick to follow. Wouldn’t even let go of that hand. Would hold onto it, even on his way to oblivion.

 

  
So he’s kind of dumbstruck now, Bokuto is there again in that outfit, and doesn’t care at all that he’s just broken Keiji’s heart. He’s unknowingly taken Keiji to heaven and back, and now he’s tearing his heart out.

“I won’t be here for a week starting tomorrow, we’re going away for training camp and practice matches!”

Keiji understands why Bokuto is excited. Volleyball. Bokuto lives and breathes volleyball; and has almost all of his friends on the team as far as Keiji is aware. It's training and practice matches, but it might as well be a summer vacation for Bokuto.

Keiji had no plans for summer break. He’s was staying at the dorm purely because if he went home his parents would berate him constantly for being in bed all morning. So staying at the dorm was a no brainer. His roommate still had practice over summer, their balanced routine wouldn’t change. What would change, was Keiji’s morning routine.

Was it still worth coming up to the roof if Bokuto wasn’t going to be here? What would he do without being able to see Bokuto everyday? Keiji’s heart flutters when Bokuto jumps the ledge and positively soars when Bokuto smiles at him. What happens when he goes away? Will Keiji’s heart die? Will it stop beating? Cold and lonely with nothing to sustain it. Some animals died of heartbreak, Keiji was sure he had read that somewhere, would he too?

“That sounds like fun Bokuto-san.” It’s all he can say, doesn’t want to speak too much. The shock might cause Keiji to spill everything that he’s hiding, every single thought, large and small and including the tiniest details of how much he doesn’t want Bokuto to go, of how much these mornings together have come to mean to him.

They’ve come to mean too much, far too much considering the lack of any sign of reciprocation. Bokuto hadn’t even said sorry for not being here. The admission itself was _something_ , Bokuto could have simply left with nothing, no announcement or goodbye and Keiji would have sat here wondering if something had gone wrong. At least Keiji knows why Bokuto won’t be here.

At least he will have the feeling of Bokuto, running his hand through Keiji’s hair in farewell. Soft, gentle, and possibly running down his cheek too - he can’t figure out if that was him projecting or if it had actually happened. Bokuto will be gone for a week, maybe more if he sleeps in to help him recover from the games. At least he has left Keiji with something else, his touch. What it feels like for him to almost lovingly run his hand through Keiji’s hair.

 

  
He wants it again, he wants it in different circumstances. He’s imagined pulling at Bokuto’s hair, but this makes Keiji picture Bokuto pulling at _his_ hair; panting, sighing, content.

Keiji is beginning to think that if he wants any of this to actually happen it’s going to have to be him. His move. He’s just going to have to figure out how to be brave. At this point he’s sure that even if Bokuto isn’t here for _that_ , he will still come to the roof. Will be Keiji’s friend if nothing else.  
  
Keiji still has hope for that something else. That something more.


	7. 4:38 AM

Of course Keiji was back. His new routine couldn’t be replaced that easily. So he was back on the rooftop in the very early morning, counting down the hours, minutes, seconds until the sunrise. It was different, it felt different even though it _was_ no different. Just knowing that Bokuto wouldn’t soon be climbing the ladder made it different. Knowing that today Keiji only had the sun in the sky to greet him after his night up here, not the sun in Bokuto’s smile and his eyes and his very being. These few hours were nothing different, only the last half hour of his visit here would be different. Even though that time hadn’t come yet, it filtered through in his mind, for all the time that Keiji was usually alone and it was distracting, a reminder.

No Bokuto today, no Bokuto for a few days.

He could do this, he had gone without Bokuto in his life for eighteen years, had only had Bokuto for a few months, he could hold out for a few days.

 

  
Of course he couldn’t.

 

  
The second day, that was as far as he got. Waiting, listening, hoping for something that he _knows_ is impossible, that he _knows_ won’t happen; and yet he’s here. _Waiting_. The sun is up, and he’s fighting his eyes, they only want to close. He wants to sleep, needs to sleep. But he also wants to see Bokuto, needs to see Bokuto. Doesn’t want to have to settle for one without the other.

He doesn’t want to need Bokuto’s _goodnight_ to get to sleep. Doesn’t want to feel like he has a giant, gaping chasm within him, threatening to take over. He does though. He does, he does, he does. So the sun is in the sky, Keiji is lying on the roof, _still lying on the roof_ , because he didn’t even move to the ledge. What was the point? Bokuto dragged him there, picked his hand up and led him there, and he wasn’t here now so Keiji hadn’t gotten up. So the sun is up, and Keiji is lying on the roof, and he has Bokuto in his head, the way he always does when he goes to sleep. Wishing him goodnight

But this time Keiji doesn’t get to watch him run away. Doesn’t have the privacy of his room to entertain his fantasies. Doesn’t even have his bed. Because Keiji is tired, sleepy, emotionally exhausted because of one boy, who he _knew_ wouldn’t be showing up, but for some ridiculous reason he kept picturing him arriving. Even though it’s long past when Keiji would usually be in bed. Long past when they say goodbye and way past their hello’s and he’s still waiting, hoping, wishing.

It doesn’t matter how irrational it is, Bokuto hasn’t shown up yet, so Keiji won’t leave.

 

  
He wakes up sometime in the afternoon. Stiff and sore and burning under the sun. He goes home for the day. Showers, and goes to his room, thinks a little about his summer assignments and a thinks a lot about what Bokuto is up to. How are his practice games? Is he enjoying the camp? Does he still get up to see the sunrise? Does he think about Keiji at all?

He does the same thing the next day. Except in the afternoon when he’s waking up and walking back he runs into his roommate and gets dragged out to watch a practice match. He doesn’t even know who the other university is, but both teams are talking trash like its the greatest rivalry in existence. His roommate is sending out the biggest, shittiest, grins almost the entire game; and seeing him like this makes Keiji see him in a new light.

And then it makes him think of Bokuto.

 

  
How different would Bokuto be when he was in his element? Would he be like this, taunting the opposition? Would he be a cold, calm, serious player? Keiji can easily picture him using all that excitement and energy to form attacks. To become a decoy, to still have enough energy at the end to jump and jump and jump and _score_. Would that be him though? On the court would that be how he behaved?

He just doesn’t know. He still doesn’t even know his position. Never asked, just assumed based on reading his body what he would be good at. Keiji was good at reading bodies as a setter, but it still might not be the case. Bokuto might not even be on the court. Had he ever said that he was a regular? Maybe he only trained and trained and trained and that was why he was so excited for this. Practices matches meant roster rotations and that he would get to play. He would get his time to shine.

He still didn’t know a lot. Still had so many questions with no where near as many answers. He didn’t even know how old Bokuto was, how long he had been here, at the university, coming to the roof? Keiji thought Bokuto was older than him, but how much older? If he had seniority in the team would that mean he got to play, or would it all be skill based? How good was Bokuto at volleyball anyway?

All he had were Bokuto’s stories. They sounded excellent and exciting and made him out to be a star. But it was Bokuto telling them, of course the way he played would sound like that, of course Bokuto would tell it like that. Keiji would never know the truth. Not unless he went to see for himself.

He would love to go and see Bokuto play.

To see him shine.

 

  
He goes to the after party. It’s something to do, something to eat up his time. Something to take his mind off of the waiting he needs to do. He isn’t even half way through the week but he’s sick of the _waiting_.

It doesn’t work, it never works. Bokuto has firmly planted himself into all of Keiji’s thoughts, into every beat of his heart, and he’s not going anywhere.

Then he picks up a drink of what everyone else is drinking.

It’s all downhill from there.

His body feels light, and his tongue feels loose. And Bokuto, it’s always Bokuto, is the first thing to come off his tongue, is the only thing that’s on his mind, and the only thing he wants to talk about. He tells everyone; everybody needs to know about Bokuto. How nice he is, to look at, to talk to, to be with, to touch. He knows some of these people, has seen them before, when he came before, and they’re laughing, they’re happy.

Of course they are happy, they know of Bokuto now. Bokuto brings happiness to a person just by _being_ , by living. Now he’s affected these people too. Everyone is better for it.

 

  
When he climbs the ladder up to the roof he feels like he’s floating, like he’s flying. It must be true, because he can’t hear it creaking, can’t hear it protesting his ascent. Instead he can hear the stars, talking to him, telling him a story.

Bokuto will be here.

Keiji is certain. Today, definitely today, Bokuto will be awake to watch the sunrise. He can sense it, he can feel it. He has tuned into the world, the universe, and it’s telling him that Bokuto will be there. Tonight Keiji doesn’t have to wait for nothing. Tonight, Bokuto will be there, his spirit will be there; the energy of the earth will make it so.

Tonight he won’t be alone.

Keiji doesn’t even last until the sunrise.

Instead he’s awake at some hour of the morning he’s not used to seeing. He walks home and it’s after breakfast and still a little while until lunch. He goes to his room, while he’s waiting he might as well actually start on some of his assignments.

 

  
He walks into his room. His roommate turns to look at him, smirks, it’s evil. Something Keiji had seen when he was on the field. “Hey Bokuto!” He says, voice low, and Keiji turns to scan the room, the entrance behind him, but Bokuto is nowhere, and did his roommate even know Bokuto anyway?

He settled his eyes back on his roommate, who is sitting at his desk and smirking. “How do you know that name?”

“You".

That didn’t make any sense. Keiji made it a point to keep Bokuto in his head, his feelings locked up tightly in his heart, because he _knows_ that he’s an idiot for wasting all this time and energy on someone he sees all the time, and that he should really move things forward; Keiji doesn’t need anyone else to know what an idiot he is, to tell him what an idiot he is. _Keiji knows._ So how does his roommate know?

He laughs at Keiji’s silence. “You were telling everyone you could last night about the love of your life, the sun in your sky, the only person who’s ever made you feel alive.” He laughs again, and Keiji feels like he might faint.

“I didn’t.”

“You did. If you ever get sick of university you should try out poetry.” Who was at the party? Keiji needs a list of people he wants to never see again. “But I guess you said that your _Bokuto-san_ was the perfect specimen for all your anatomy textbooks. Would you get off on studying then? Studying would be code for–”

“Please stop talking, and please can you forget anything I said last night?”

“Even if I did, you told everyone. I had no idea you were so in love Akaashi!”

“I think this goes without saying, but I won’t be going to any of your parties anymore.” He laughs. Keiji doesn’t vocalise that he’s never going to drink anything unidentifiable ever again either. That had to have been what had done it. Alcohol, was apparently no friend of his.

He spent the day finishing off his assignments. Hours and hours just getting them done, because how else was he meant to wash away the feeling of shame? Wash away the knowledge that he had embarrassed himself in front of so many people. Why? Why had he done that? How had that happened?

He knew how that had happened, and it needed to never happen again.

He needed to make sure not to utter Bokuto’s name again. Not when said person wasn’t present at least. He needed to keep Bokuto from dominating all of his thoughts; except that thinking about that made Keiji think about him more, so really it was counterproductive. He needed Bokuto to come back, he was pretty sure it was the lack of Bokuto in his day to day life that made him so present in his mind.

He had always had a presence, but usually Keiji could let the thoughts flow, put them to use, and then he was asleep and then classes and homework and reading before he moved to the roof and Bokuto was on his mind again. Now it was _all the time_.

 

  
Another day, nothing to distract him because he had finished all his assignments.

 

  
Another day. He went up to the roof early, really early, far too early. Sunset from the roof was nice too, the way the colours bled into the sky. Watching the city go dark, and then sprinkle alight. Dots in windows and the passing lights of cars. Street lights and flashing lights.

And somewhere amidst the chaos, the light of Keiji’s life was out there too.

 

  
Another day and he didn’t even go home, went down to buy food, and then went straight back up. He went home the next afternoon after waking up, sun roasted and with texts from his roommate asking if he was okay. Which was nice, if it weren’t for the additional _I know you’re not sleeping with anyone because you were crying that Bokuto was gone for a week._ Keiji could only hope that was a joke, that he hadn’t actually cried.

 

  
He ran, he went to the gym, he exhausted himself. Perhaps if his body was tired enough his mind would follow and he could collapse into a blissful, dreamless sleep.

Or he could dream and dream and dream, of Bokuto. Beautiful, smiling, perfect Bokuto. Keiji wanted to see him so bad.

 

  
Tuesday, Wednesday. It had been a week now, Bokuto could be back anytime.

 

  
Thursday, Friday. Maybe he was visiting his family, or went on an actual holiday with his friends that didn’t involve training and practice? That could happen. He probably wasn’t thinking about Keiji the way that Keiji was thinking of him. Wouldn’t care about seeing Keiji as much as he would care about hanging out with his friends. Holidaying, partying, whatever it was that Bokuto liked to do for fun. Perhaps he was at the beach, beach volleyball, Bokuto would look good on the beach playing volleyball. It would suit him.

 

  
Another day.

 

  
When Keiji heard the creaks of the ladder being climbed his heart started to race.

There was no need for this, it was only Bokuto, and he had missed Bokuto yes, but it was only Bokuto and his heart didn’t need to make its presence _visible_ in his chest. Thumping so hard and fast Keiji felt like he could see it there. Felt like it was welcoming Bokuto home.

Then he saw him, hair first, spiked to defy gravity. Gleaming eyes and that sunny, beaming smile. He had really missed those. His face, his body, just _him_. He wanted to throw himself over at Bokuto, throw his arms around him. He held back though, because Bokuto was still in the process of bounding over the ledge to join him on the roof, muscles rippling beautifully in the light, and if Keiji rushed at him they might both go toppling over together.

What was he worrying for anyway?

“Akaashi!” That voice, loud, exuberant. Not something Keiji had necessarily missed, too loud and grating for the time of day in which they met. But hearing his name, in that way, in that voice. It was like Bokuto was welcoming him home, coming home. The words not said, but Keiji felt them.

Then he felt him.

He had never known how much Bokuto weighed, never needed that information. He could only assume Bokuto weighed more than he did because that muscle, all of that muscle had to be accounted for. Now all that weight had been slammed into him. Much heavier than Keiji and much heavier than expected, pinning him to the rooftop. Bokuto’s arms squeezing under him and then squeezing _him_.

This, this was a hug.

“Akaashi! Did you miss me? I missed you!” Bokuto nuzzled, _nuzzled_ , his face in to Keiji’s neck and _wow_.

This was nice.

“I’m so happy to be home again!”

Wow, that entire smile. So close and in his face and Keiji knew he was smiling back. Nothing compared to Bokuto’s but he could feel it there, in the pull of his cheeks, and maybe he had never even smiled so big before.

Bokuto was here, was home, had missed him and was _on top of him_ , and if he couldn’t feel Keiji’s heart racing beneath his body then it was a miracle.

Keiji hugged back.

For the first time. No excuses. No rain, or exams, or sadness, or stress, or almost falling asleep. Bokuto was happy and excited and _hugging_ him, Keiji didn’t need an excuse this time.

Maybe just one

“I missed you too Bokuto-san.“


	8. 4:39 AM

Bokuto squeezes back harder at the words. Keiji feels like his last breath has left, gone. Squeezed out, a death by Bokuto; but really, this wouldn’t be such a bad way to go. It’s a few too many years earlier than he had planned, was hoping for. But he could die happy here, could float off, leave his body behind and he’d be able to look down at the smile on his own face. Blissful, peace at last. Suffocated in the warmth of Bokuto, Bokuto surrounding him.

He could die, but he doesn’t want to. Not now if there’s a possibility that there will be more of this.

So instead of stepping off into the unknown Keiji releases his grip, and following his action Bokuto does too, sitting back and Keiji gets to see the whole universe gleaming from behind his eyes. “Don’t you want to see the sunrise?” Keiji asks.

Bokuto gasps, and Keiji bows his head to hide his smile. Bokuto makes it seem like that wasn’t what he had come up here for, like he hadn’t even remembered. As if he had completely forgotten that part of his routine, how he once started all of his days.

As if it had been Keiji that he came up to see.

Bokuto rolls off of Keiji, stands up, and looks to the horizon. “Ah! We almost missed it!” He tugs at Keiji’s hand, pulling him to his feet, and then they walk to the ledge and sit down. Keiji marvels that even now that they’re seated, Bokuto still reaches for his hand.

He looks down at them. Bokuto’s hand engulfs his own, darker, harder, filled with cuts and bruises. Bokuto squeezes at his hand, and Keiji is in awe at the way the tendons move beneath the skin, at the power those hands hold. He squeezes back, and Bokuto laughs. Keiji looks up to see that he has been watching. Happiness etched all across his face. “You’ll miss the sun.” He says. At this moment, Keiji doesn’t even care about the sun, it’s already halfway visible anyway.

And Bokuto’s hand is still in his.

Warm and solid and there. How can Keiji care about the sun rising in the distance, when he has a piece of sunlight in his hand, in his grasp? How long has it been? How long can it last? Keiji’s want it to last forever, and at the very least considers this a good sign. It’s a start, it could indicate forever. He knows that it can only last the morning, but forevers start all the time, every day. Keiji is very sure that his starts now, here, with Bokuto.

When he finishes watching the sun come up, can see it above the horizon in all of its blazing glory, Keiji turns to Bokuto again. Now it’s Bokuto who is staring at their hands, and it is Keiji’s turn to squeeze. Bokuto squeezes back and Keiji watches how it moves. It’s beautiful. Everything he does and lives and breathes is beautiful. He looks up, smiling at Keiji with the intensity of the sun across from them, burning within those eyes. This, this is the most beautiful part of Bokuto.

The most beautiful thing ever.

Because he has Keiji’s hand in his and he is smiling like that, and it’s directed towards _him_. Keiji has all of that fire that lives within Bokuto focused on him. It could scold him and burn him and turn him into ash. Instead it carries through as a steady warmth. Keiji can feel the heat, traveling into him through where their hands are connected, traveling through blood and bone and flesh and warming his very soul.

Bokuto could kill him with his fire, but instead it’s the flame that keeps Keiji alive.

It’s nice to sit with Bokuto and watch the sun crawl it’s way higher into the sky. He should be tired and sleepy and _not here_ , but he’s none of them. Bokuto is back home, and now he feels at home. What’s an empty bed compared to Bokuto sitting next to him? What’s the silence of his room compared to Bokuto’s wild stories? What is being alone, when he has Bokuto here?

Bokuto here and talking, and Keiji learning something new.

Captain, ace of his high school team. It makes Keiji want to watch Bokuto play even more. _Captain_ , it’s hard to imagine Bokuto as the captain of a team. Keiji feels like it’s very easy to like Bokuto, he certainly found that to be true, to love him; but his personality could also easily become grating. Loudness is not for everyone, not everyone cherishes excitement at all the little things. Keiji doesn’t usually, would usually be put off, but something about Bokuto had drawn him in.

He couldn’t even pin down what it was.

Of course Bokuto’s appearance had first drawn him in, but it’s been months and Keiji is used to it by now. Used to him. Still loves all of what Bokuto has been able to show him, bared skin, and sometimes the covered skin which heats Keiji up even more, but that isn’t what has kept Bokuto in his head. Isn’t what has made him build a home in his heart, isn’t what has kept him nesting in there for Keiji to make wishes and plans for a future that includes him.

It’s not even settled yet. Nothing has really happened. Holding hands all morning on the rooftop and finding out that Bokuto is one year his senior doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things. Is nothing but a blip in Keiji’s grand scheme of wanting Bokuto to share his life and his space. Although in the nearer future Keiji would settle for his bed.

It’s midsummer and the days are roasting. Keiji can even feel it when he’s sleeping, can feel it even through the air conditioning on in his dorm. Still, he thinks he wouldn’t mind the heat if it was Bokuto’s. If it was Bokuto causing him to overheat. They wouldn’t even need to do anything, Keiji could just cuddle up to the fire burning within Bokuto and sleep peacefully. Bokuto would be an excellent bed companion come winter.

Will they even still come up here in winter?

A thought for another time Keiji decides as Bokuto squeezes his hand to grab his attention, his face holding a smile full of summer. “You should go home and sleep.” He says it seriously, as if he’s worried for Keiji’s health, which is nice, but it means leaving. “It’s late, so I’ll walk you back to make sure you get there safely!” Maybe leaving isn’t so bad if it doesn’t mean leaving Bokuto.

They have to let go of their hands to get down the ladder, and Keiji is rethinking this whole thing.

Bokuto doesn’t reach for his hand again, and Keiji doesn’t want to be the one to reach out. Doesn’t want to have his hand rejected, not where he can be seen, because now there are people out and walking around. It’s different to how he usually walks home. There are people on the street and he’s grossly attuned to the presence of Bokuto at his side. Grossly attuned to Bokuto’s presence there and not where it had been earlier, in his hand.

There’s a distance there too. Enough space between them that their hands don’t even brush. Keiji swings his arms, unsightly and ungainly, in order to make the slightest brush of contact, but nothing. The action only makes it worse, Bokuto settles in to walk half a step behind him and Keiji leads the way home.

Keiji doesn’t know what the time is, but had been thinking, somewhere in the back of his mind when he heard that Bokuto would walk him home, that he could have invited Bokuto in for something to eat. Now he thinks he might be rejected for that too; no hand, no food.

Why didn’t Bokuto want to hold his hand?

Bokuto bids him farewell at the entrance, he still has the sun in his eyes and his smile, and maybe something else that Keiji can’t quite make out. “Thank you for walking me home Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto beams at him, and Keiji doesn’t know what it’s for. “No worries! Sleep well Akaashi!”

Keiji smiles this time, although it has nothing on the radiance of Bokuto’s smile, he likes the way that it feels on his face. “Good night Bokuto-san, have a nice day.”

“Good night!” Bokuto cheers, and it’s loud enough to make some passers by look their way. Keiji feels his face heat up, but is giddy at Bokuto’s enthusiasm. Would probably be more so, if he didn’t notice his roommate heading their direction, bag slung over one shoulder and a giant smile on his face.

“See you tomorrow Bokuto-san.” Keiji can tell when his roommate hears the name, but Bokuto forms a good distraction when he crashes into him again, another hug. Keiji reaches his arms up to reciprocate, but is too late. This one was quick, brief, and not at all long enough for him.

Bokuto starts to run away, back the way they had come. “See you tomorrow!” He calls out as he runs.

“So–”

“Shut up.” Keiji hisses before his roommate has a chance to talk, and is momentarily surprised when he actually does so. “If you’re just coming back now does that mean I can have breakfast before I sleep?”

He can, so Keiji goes to sleep with a full stomach, a full heart, and his mind full of why Bokuto wouldn’t hold his hand to walk home. This day, their morning together, might have been the best one of his entire life, and then it had been blemished with empty hands while he walked home. It’s a small thing to be petty about, but he is, and he’s worried about it.

Holding hands is such a small gesture, such a small thing. Yet Keiji is fixated on it. It’s always been there, small and short. They had only ever held hands when Bokuto picked him up, that had grown into keeping the contact while Bokuto led him to the ledge to sit. This morning it had been _all morning._ All morning holding hands without it needing to be for comfort, or to keep them dry.

Holding hands with no excuse, holding hands just because.

It had seemed natural, their hands resting together as they watched the sun come up, and as they talked through the beginnings of the morning. Keiji was ready for it to feel _actually_ natural, when it could happen without the thought that he was _holding Bokuto’s hand_ dominating his thoughts for the entire time that it was happening.

But then Bokuto had let go, maybe it was only a greeting. Extended contact to make up for the time that Bokuto had been gone. Filling in the few moments in which they would have held hands over that week. Perhaps that was all that it had been, and Keiji shouldn’t be getting ahead of himself again.

He needs to wait, to watch, to see if it happens again. If it happens again, then he can think about _more_ , about gearing himself up to ask for more, to see if the idea of more would be well received.

He hopes it will be.

 

  
In his time, Keiji has fixated on people a lot, but nobody has really stayed in his mind as much as Bokuto has. Nobody has had quite such an enormous impact on his life. Keiji had changed his routine for Bokuto, fit Bokuto in. Made space in his every day in order to see him and spend time with him. Keiji doesn’t do that, not usually. He lives in the fantasies and then reality lets him down. Bokuto is the first person who beats the dreams. Who Keiji looks forward to seeing, because then he can learn more that is real, and can fill in more of the blanks with facts rather than fantasy.

Keiji so wants _more_ with Bokuto, and if only Bokuto had kept holding his hand on the way home, he would think that there was some kind of possibility of it actually happening. Instead he’s left to think that maybe it is only him that would be interested in more.

 

  
Then Bokuto is holding his hand again in the morning. This time Bokuto is early, they have a while before the sun comes up, and usually this is Keiji’s alone time. Time where he gets his space away from his roommate and from anyone and has the space and time to recharge. It doesn’t matter though if Bokuto is going to hold his hand. If Bokuto is going to lie with him where he is on the roof, Keiji in his left hand and Bokuto’s right hand is extended to the sky, holding the universe.

Keiji has the universe in his right hand too.

Then the sky gets light, and still hand in hand Bokuto leads Keiji to the ledge, they hold hands and watch the sun peek up over the city. Keiji closes his eyes to the fire across from him, and focuses on the fire burning inside. His heart aflame, his soul alight, filling with warmth from the hand in his, from the boy sitting next to him.

He can hear Bokuto breathing, steady and even, and feel it when he shifts, when he brushes his leg up against Keiji’s and even the minute squeezes Bokuto gives to his hand. They probably aren’t even conscious, but Keiji adores them anyway, Bokuto’s body holding on to him just that tiny bit tighter for just a fraction of a second.

And in all of these seconds this morning since Bokuto arrived they have been joined. Hand to hand.

Bokuto has his heart, and Keiji just wants to know if it’s safe, if Bokuto will take care of it; if maybe one day he will be lucky enough to receive Bokuto’s in return.

The sun is up and Keiji doesn’t want to leave, sits back on the rooftop rather than the ledge.

Keeps Bokuto’s hand in his.

It doesn’t matter that he falls asleep. That it’s probably been at least a couple of hours by the time he wakes up again. That Bokuto probably had things to do, practice, or friends, or assignments, or anything. It doesn’t matter, because Keiji has woken up to the sun burning high in the sky, and his hand is burning too, his heart is burning because Bokuto is still here, and his hand is still there.

Bokuto smiles so sweetly when he sees that Keiji is awake. He doesn’t look frustrated at sitting here with nothing to do, looks almost happy.  
  
And Keiji is happy, so, so, so happy. Because Bokuto is here, and _he_ is here, and they are here together, and their hands are together.

Their hands are entwined and this time Keiji has faith that _something_ is happening, will happen.

Bokuto had been holding the stars this morning, and Keiji has been talking to them all this time, now they too must have fallen for Bokuto. They must have been charmed by him, and taken it upon themselves to grant Keiji’s wish.

Because they are here together, connected.

The stars will tell their story, and their story starts now.


	9. 4:44 AM

This has again become a new habit, it’s something that Keiji will have to switch out of when classes start up again after the break, but for now, this new routine is nice. He’s changed the way he lives again for Bokuto, but what does it matter, when all of it is in order to spend more time with him?

 

  
Bokuto keeps coming up to the roof early, and so Keiji comes earlier too to keep that alone time, but he still enjoys having the extra time with Bokuto. Who apparently spent time looking up stars and constellations in order to point them out to Keiji. He can only smile, because he had done the exact same thing when he first came up here.

And they hold hands, always connected through their fingertips and Keiji can feel the pulse there, and sense the way that the feeling of Bokuto travels all the way to his heart. Can feel the rhythm with which Bokuto is taking up more and more space within him.

They watch the sun say hello to the city, and here is the only place where there is variation.

Sometimes they sit back on the rooftop, and Keiji usually falls asleep then, although sometimes he just likes to pretend, because then he has his head on Bokuto’s shoulder, or his lap, and if everyone in the world could sleep like this then everyone would be able to find true peace. World peace at last thanks to Bokuto.

Other times they stay on the ledge. Pointing out interesting things they can see in the city or around campus, even though it’s not quite so busy now that most people have gone home for the break. When they sit on the ledge is when they talk, and Keiji doesn’t know which of these things they do he prefers. Cuddling up to Bokuto is nice, but listening to Bokuto talk is another dazzling experience in and of itself.

Everything is said with such passion and excitement, that even though Keiji doesn’t know the people or the places he talks about, he feels like he was there. Like he can picture the life that Bokuto has led, the experiences he has had. It’s so easy at these times as well, to see how Keiji could insert himself into them. It’s so easy for him to picture himself scolding Bokuto and his friends, joining in on their crazy adventures, teasing them, and at the end of all the days he talks about, curling up next to Bokuto to sleep, just like they did on the roof.

 

  
Bokuto continues to walk him home afterwards as well. Says that he’s worried Keiji might fall asleep on the way back, in the middle of the road or the sidewalk, and either be run over or stolen for being too cute.

“You look so cute when you sleep Akaashi! You have no idea!”

Bokuto has no idea of the effect him saying that has on Keiji. He feels like his dreams are lighter, feels like he’s floating amongst the clouds, feels like he has never been happier in his entire existence, because Bokuto has called him cute, _again_.

They don’t hold hands when they walk back, although now that Bokuto knows the way he doesn’t walk half a step behind. He walks next to Keiji, sometimes running ahead to chase after a bird or cat in the street, leaving Keiji to chase after him. And really, Bokuto shouldn’t be leaving him behind if he was worried about Keiji collapsing on the way home, but Keiji feels so free when he chases after Bokuto in these moments that it doesn’t even matter.

 

  
The only thing Keiji really wants to do still, is invite Bokuto to breakfast, or lunch. It depends on what time they walk home as to what Keiji has to eat first thing in the day. If he naps on the roof, longer now that he knows Bokuto will stay with him without a problem, he arrives for the beginning of lunch. If they talk for a few hours, they make it back in time for him to have breakfast, their arrival coinciding with his roommate getting back from morning practice, glasses glinting in the sun and that ever present smirk on his face as he sees Bokuto walking him back each time.

It’s a short term goal. One of these days, before the month ends and classes start again, Keiji will invite Bokuto in for a meal.

He doesn’t know which would be better, breakfast or lunch? Did Bokuto have a preference? Would Keiji just have to wait for a day that felt right and ask then? Or should he plan it out, everything, spin the web and have all the different threads planned out and accounted for?

He doesn’t know. All he knows is that he wants to invite Bokuto in to eat. Keiji loves Bokuto and _really_ loves food, and having both of them together would be like the heavens colliding to grant him a small miracle. Bokuto and food together would be _like_ a date, except if Keiji makes it seem more like thanks than a date - Bokuto saying no it won’t hurt as much; but if Bokuto says yes it’s a step in the right direction and Keiji can invite him _out_ to eat food and maybe it can be like an _actual_ date.

Even if Keiji has been told by certain shoujo manga enthusiasts in the baseball team that what he has been doing can be classified as dates and much more romantic than what Keiji has planned for _real_ dates - the rooftop doesn’t count.

The rooftop was the best decision that Keiji ever made in his life, but meeting Bokuto there isn’t a date, aren’t dates, it’s just something that they do, together. It has to be together because Keiji had felt so lost in that time while Bokuto was away, and Bokuto must have as well, because now they are spending more time together than ever. Walking home means _more_ because they used to part right after climbing down.

Inviting Bokuto in would be _more_ again.

Everything that Keiji does and thinks is to get tiny, little, baby steps towards more. More and more each time. Bokuto walks him home, and Keiji says he should stay to eat. The next time Keiji can take them out to eat. That leads to more circumstances where they can meet up off of the rooftop. More, more, _more_.

 

  
“I have to leave early today, we have a practice game this afternoon.”

Keiji needs more, because then he won’t feel weird about asking to see a practice game. Wanting to see more of Bokuto in his everyday life, who he is as a person and not as Keiji’s dreams brought to life, his ideal person, who shows up everyday at the roof. Keiji wants to know if the regular Bokuto is as great a reality as the rooftop Bokuto, wants to know if Keiji would love him there too, if in some alternate timeline Keiji would have grown to love him elsewhere, if in this timeline had Keiji not gone out that first night to find the rooftop, would their worlds have collided elsewhere to bring them together.

“It’s only against the neighbouring university, but the coach wants us all there early to get ready cause the coach of the other team is his old rival so he doesn’t want us to lose.”

Keiji thinks back to his roommate in the same kind of game, local, practice, nothing much to really worry about. No elimination, tears, or the end of summer to accompany a loss. He remembers the change he had seen in his roommate on the field, wonders how much Bokuto changes when he steps onto the court.

“Are you going to be playing?”

“Yes! I’m the ace!”

“Wow, really? That’s impressive Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto pouts, shoulders wilting a little. A reaction Keiji hadn’t been expecting from his words. “Okay, I lied.” Keiji tilts his head, an amused smile trying to climb its way across his face. He should have guessed that Bokuto was exaggerating. “I’m not the ace, but I will be when the current one retires which will probably be soon because this is his last year.”

“Ah, that’s still impressive. Good luck in the game then!”

Bokuto smiles at him, and Keiji thinks that his smile is _his_ good luck charm.

He hopes that Bokuto will play well.

 

  
Keiji is shocked to see the body slumped against the wall when his head breaches the ledge over to the rooftop. All this time and he has never seen anybody up here apart from Bokuto and himself. The body slumped against the opposite corner begs to differ though, and Keiji clings to the ledge, unsure whether to make the jump over or if he should climb back down and wait until Bokuto comes up to meet this other person. Maybe if he waited the other person would climb down themselves and Keiji can wait it out and go back up once they’re gone.

He seriously considers waiting it out, but he’s already climbed up, and the person looks asleep, so if Keiji wants, he can hide out behind the fan and if they wake up and leave they might not even notice him.

Then Keiji notices _them_ , and all of his worries float off into the distance.

He would recognise that hair anywhere.

One side of the spikes has fallen out of place from where his head is resting up against the wall, but the person slumped against the corner is undoubtedly Bokuto. He doesn’t have to worry anymore, and instead he makes his way closer to him.

His face is softer in sleep, none of the lines evident on his face from the smiles and laughter that accompany him when he is awake. It’s strange to see him quiet like this, Keiji has only seen Bokuto being silent when he is in that stressed out mood, here he is silent, but looks content. Breathing peacefully, rhythmically, and Keiji can make out the rise and fall of his chest as he does so. He looks deep into his sleep, which makes sense, he must need to rest an awful lot in order to carry the energy he exudes during the daylight.

It’s nice to be seeing Bokuto outside of their usual dawn hours.

The shock of someone intruding has quite quickly turned into a pleasant surprise, and the only thing Keiji really wonders is what Bokuto is doing up here. Keiji has always been the first to their meetings, and even with Bokuto showing up earlier over the past week, Bokuto showing up before Keiji did was never even hinted at. Keiji had still been here a good couple of hours before Bokuto, but now how long has Bokuto been here before him?

Why is he sleeping up here, when Keiji assumes that he has a comfortable bed somewhere to sleep on?

Then again, Keiji had a suitable bed but much preferred the comfort of Bokuto’s lap. Bokuto didn’t have that option though, and wasn’t even lying down on the roof. The way he was slumped against the ledge didn’t seem comfortable at all, and really, it was for Bokuto’s own good if Keiji moved him.

If Keiji sat down and dragged Bokuto so that he was resting in _his_ lap for a change, then it was for his own good. Bokuto would wake up less stiff, and Keiji could run his hands through Bokuto’s hair. Everybody was a winner.

Strands of Bokuto’s hair lay soft, and the others were stiff from gel, together it made Bokuto’s hair fun to play with. Keiji could move his hands through the strands, put his hair up into it’s usual style, stroke it down, push it so that it all stood on end. The stars shone overhead, but all Keiji could focus on was the boy in his lap.

Now, they would have both slept together. One at a time, but still it was true. Even this was almost another step in the right direction, all that was needed was for them to both be sleeping at the same time. In the case that it happened a bed would be preferable, but Keiji was sure that when it happened it would be up here. This was where everything started.

Up on the rooftop was where the day started, where he and Bokuto started, where Keiji’s happiness started.

It only made sense for everything else to start here too.

Their hands had, embracing had, Bokuto escorting him home had, their talking, their sharing, everything they had learned had been gleamed from dawns on the rooftop. Everything would start here.

Including Keiji’s bravery.

He slid a hand from Bokuto’s hair, slid it around Bokuto and grasped at his hand. Bokuto squeezed at the intrusion amongst his fingers, but then his body’s response was to curl up, to curl in around Keiji and smother him in warmth. He had to wonder if he was warm to Bokuto, or if it was just in his nature to cuddle up to whatever he was sleeping against, with.

He loved having Bokuto there, but it got uncomfortable really quickly.

Bokuto had left his umbrella here a couple of months ago, and now Keiji was considering leaving a pillow up here. Had Bokuto gotten sore from sitting still with Keiji in his lap too? How admirable, and charming then, that Bokuto had continued to let Keiji nap in his lap.

He needed to be brave then, really needed to speak up and invite Bokuto inside to eat. To thank him, for walking him home, for letting Keiji fall asleep on him for all of those times; as a prelude, to a real date. To meeting elsewhere and moving beyond the rooftop.

Bokuto didn’t seem to be inclined to wake up, even as the sky lit up into the civil twilight indicating the sun’s imminent birth over the horizon.

He must have set alarms to wake up, and Keiji was briefly amused at the thought of that alarm going off wherever it was that Bokuto usually slept, and it likely waking up whoever was near it, a roommate, a neighbour. They would not be happy for the wake-up call to a person who wasn’t home to shut it off.

So Keiji woke him up.

Moved his other hand through his hair, and started humming out his name. Softly, sweetly, the way that he had woken up Keiji, the way Keiji now preferred to be woken up, even if it had not happened since the first time.

“Bokuto-san.”

A grunt, he shifted, squeezed at Keiji’s hand, sighed, nothing.

“Bokuto-san, it’s time to wake up.”

Another grunt, “Kuroo, my phone hasn’t even gone off yet.”

“Bokuto-san.”

“Akaashi?”

Hearing his name in that sleepy morning voice was doing things to him, and Bokuto’s weight in his lap didn’t help. The boy needed to move.

“You’ll miss the sun, Bokuto-san.”

“Akaashi! What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to ask you the same thing.”

It seemed only now that Bokuto realised that he was not in fact in his own bed. He seemed to note his position in Keiji’s lap, and slowly pushed himself up and away, although the grasp at Keiji’s hand was not released. He was thankful for that.

“Oh.”

“Oh.” Keiji repeated. “I found you asleep up here when I came up, big night?”

“Mmm.” Bokuto stood up, and as per routine led him over to the ledge to watch the sun. “Went out with the team after the game, it was a late night and I remember thinking that I didn’t think I would wake up in time to come out here and see you. So I guess I saved that from happening by coming up here last night.”

Keiji is looking at the sunrise, but the smile he wears is for Bokuto.

“I’m so hungry though, I usually eat before I come up, but now I’m starving.”

 _Keiji was going to be brave today_.

“You know when you walk me back it’s usually the end of breakfast, you could just come in and have some if you like.”

He can’t look at Bokuto, doesn’t want to read whatever it is that will be written on his face. Doesn’t want to see how he’s taking the words.

“Really? They won’t mind?”

“Not at the end of the meal time.”

The sun may have never burned quite so bright as it did today, the way it cast long shadows over the city was fascinating. The way it could erase the darkness from earlier, enlightening.

He has to turn his attention back when Bokuto squeezes his hand, and when he looks it seems that Bokuto is also burning brighter today than Keiji has ever seen him. The smile takes up half his face, more if his eyes are included, gleaming bright and gold.

“I’ll go.” Is all he says, and Keiji feels like if he jumped off right now he would fly instead of fall. He feels so light. He knows what would really happen though, reality trickles through.

It is real that he has invited Bokuto to breakfast, and it is real that Bokuto has said yes.

 _More_.

It’s another step towards more.


	10. 4:49 AM

Keiji was glad for it being summer as Bokuto sat down with him to breakfast, plate piled high with the protein they had on offer whilst Keiji simply had a healthy selection of _lots of everything_. He could feel the looks of the others who had been staying over the break, could imagine how they would look: cheeky smiles like those who had helped with their meals, or downright devious ones like the one his roommate held as he came in to sit at the table with them, still scuffed up from his morning practice and grinning wickedly.

Perhaps then, it would have been better to wait for classes to start up again before he brought Bokuto over, it was more likely that they would have had to squeeze to get a table together, but in no way would Keiji’s roommate have been able to tag along too.

 

  
“So…” Of course he started talking as soon Bokuto had left the table to get a drink, it only made sense for Keiji’s day to be ruined by an intrusive roommate.

“No.”

“I didn’t even–”

“No.” Keiji repeats, glaring across the table at his roommate before turning his gaze to where Bokuto is getting them all glasses of water.

“He’s built.”

Keiji has to spin around and go back to glaring at his roommate.

“What does he play?”

“Volleyball.” Keiji answers slowly. Watches as his roommates eyes very obviously take in the whole of Bokuto’s form across the room from them.

“I can see it.” Is all he says.

Keiji wishes that he didn’t see it, or anything. Wishes that his roommate hadn’t blatantly run his eyes over Bokuto, picking out the muscles that so wonderfully made him up to see how suited he was for the sport. Keiji has definitely run his eyes over Bokuto more times than he can count, but he didn’t like to see someone else do it, not in front of him at least. He’s not naive enough to think that he’s the only one who would check Bokuto out, but it didn’t need to be done right in front of his face.

Bokuto joins them then, placing down the water which his roommate downs in a flash before standing up, finally, to leave them alone. “I can see why you like him.” Is whispered into Keiji’s ears, and he can only pretend that his face doesn’t feel warmer after he hears the words.

“What did he say?” Bokuto asks, and Keiji panics, can Bokuto tell that he is blushing?

“Just that he could tell that you play volleyball.”

Bokuto puffs up his chest, and this time Keiji doesn’t will anything away when he feels the smile crawl across his face. Bokuto takes pleasure in the simplest of things and it’s so nice to see. So nice to see that Keiji has said something to make Bokuto preen, even if the original words were not from him. “I’m just that good!” He declares.

Keiji wants so much to know the truth behind that declaration, to see and to know for himself how much of Bokuto’s words are real and how much are exaggerated, but he is getting there.  


 

He got Bokuto inside for breakfast today, he had been brave today and asked and it had all worked out. Keiji just needs to feel that way again, to ask the stars once more to grant another wish. They must like him - or Bokuto, it was probably Bokuto - because they keep coming true.

Keiji just needs another sparkling coincidence to be dangled in front of him again.  


 

Eating here with Bokuto is nice, especially now that it’s just the two of them. Bokuto is animated when he eats in the same way that he is with everything else that he does. Keiji’s favourite part however, is that Bokuto doesn’t comment at all on the way Keiji eats, on the amount of food on his plate, and that sometimes he likes to have a bit of food in each hand to alternate. A handful of toast in his left hand while his right is dicing up bits of egg to eat.

Bokuto eats what Keiji would call a normal amount for someone dedicated to their sport, Keiji eats more than he does, and without the excuse of sport to account for his full plate. He just likes eating, always has, probably always will. And it might be small but it means so, so much, not to have someone commenting on it.

Small, but significant and welcome.  


 

Then breakfast ends, and Keiji walks Bokuto back to the entrance and is crushed into a hug. A long one. Long enough for Keiji to squeeze back and run his hands slowly across Bokuto’s back. He can feel the way his muscles move and tighten and he thinks of his textbook and how Bokuto was such a perfect specimen for it, and then also how Keiji is so, so lucky to be able to do this. To know Bokuto and to be able to touch him and talk to him and be with him, and to love him.

Bokuto lets go, they move away, Bokuto’s voice is softer now, as he wishes for Keiji to have a good sleep. Hope blooms in his chest, and his heart beats a steady rhythm as he watches Bokuto walk away.

This had worked, this had been great, and next time Keiji wanted a date.  


 

 _Date_.  


 

Keiji needs to figure out how to ask Bokuto on a date. He has to figure out how to ask Bokuto, and then let Bokuto know that it is a date. Not just food like this morning had been. That had been the test run, the practice match, and it had gone spectacularly. So beautifully. Keiji was ready, and no longer scared to invite Bokuto out. All he needed now was a plan.

He thought over it for a while, forgoing the prospect of getting to sleep at a decent time, but he wasn’t hit with anything groundbreaking. The only idea that he had was to get food again. Getting food would mimic earlier, with the added knowledge that this _was_ a date, and any tension that came with that.

Still, Keiji didn’t think that it would be awkward. Breakfast hadn’t been awkward, and he was confident that he could keep the date from being awkward. Plus, if the date happened he was sure that Bokuto was too nice to let it go badly.

He just needed to get Bokuto to agree to going on the date.  


 

Asking would be the biggest hurdle

Asking would make Keiji think too much, overthink. Would make Keiji picture every bad thing that could happen. All the ways which would result in Bokuto hating him, having Bokuto never want to see him again. He would discover all the roads that existed which _all_ led to Keiji losing the best part of his day.

He just needed to find the best way to ask, Bokuto would say yes, and then everything else would fall into place.  


 

Lunch would be starting downstairs now, but Keiji could finally let himself sleep.

It was fitful, unrestful, Keiji woke up still tired, but Keiji woke up with a plan.  


 

The next morning Keiji watched and listened. Let Bokuto ramble on about his day after they had parted, and only speaking to let Bokuto know that he was listening, and interested. He was looking for a tell, a clue. Something that would let him interject, like the way Bokuto had simply brought up being hungry which had allowed Keiji to invite him to the dorm for breakfast.

Keiji needed another miracle. This was his plan.

Then they talked and talked and Bokuto walked him home again, and Bokuto asked this time if he could come in for food.

“Didn’t you eat this morning before you came?” Keiji wished the words had stayed inside as soon as he had said them, as he watches Bokuto fidget on the spot.

“I did,” Bokuto says slowly, and Keiji can see the gears running in his mind, trying to figure out what to say. Why had Keiji said what he said? He could have spent more time with Bokuto. It was _Bokuto_ this time asking to stay and he really should have just said _yes_. “It was nice though, and you said it was fine if I came in at the end, and I can eat more here, it’s so great to save money. Akaashi you have no idea how annoying it is to have to actually, directly pay for how much you eat. How did I not know this? My parents should have warned me, really. Why did they just keep buying me so much food and then let me off into the world without warning me? I mean I guess they still pay because they send me an allowance but it’s just–”

“Yo! You coming in for breakfast again Bokuto?” Keiji had never been so glad to see his roommate. He wasn’t even upset this time for the intrusion, because he had managed to interrupt Bokuto’s rambling. It had started with why he wanted to come in for breakfast, and Keiji was only a little disappointed not to hear his own name in there, but then he had _just kept going_. From nerves, or hunger, or something else, Keiji didn’t know. Only that Bokuto really didn’t need to elaborate so much when Keiji was more than willing to let him in for breakfast.

He could come back for lunch and dinner and Keiji would say yes every single time.

Bokuto didn’t answer for himself, just looked to Keiji for an answer. “Yes, he’s coming for breakfast again.”

Bokuto cheered, which was embarrassing because it was only over a meal and there were people around, but Keiji only smiled fondly at the sight of Bokuto pumping his fists in the air before dashing off ahead of both of them to run inside.

“Thank you.” Keiji said.

“For what?” He didn’t answer his roommate. Didn’t want to let him know that he had helped because the man would never forget it. Would remind Keiji of it all the time, in every grin and every smile, and whenever Bokuto came around again. So, he couldn’t know.  


 

They had the same thing again, Bokuto stocked up on all the protein, and Keiji had a mountain of everything. They looked like monsters with the three of them together, because his roommate had three bowls of rice stacked up as well. They sat, and Keiji listened while Bokuto talked with his roommate, intrigued by their discussion of the different ways that their practices were held. Amazed by how they were both university athletes, playing on the first string, but the way they were seen by the university and by their peers were so different.

Keiji felt in this time that maybe he had been too harsh with his roommate, he had a way of getting information that Keiji hadn’t even gleamed yet.

“Wait,” he had said, “are you the same Bokuto from Fukurodani?”

Bokuto had preened, as he always did at someone knowing him or praising him. His roommate knowing him was also in a way praising him. Keiji guessed that elite high schools must have had their way of knowing other schools and other schools stars, even if they happened to play in a completely different sport.

He was amazed that his roommate had known of Bokuto, in awe of the fact that Bokuto must _actually_ be really good in order for that to happen. The school name though, that was interesting.

Keiji had once planned to go to Fukurodani Academy.

Had taken the entrance exams and passed, but then when his grandmother had fallen ill Keiji had instead decided to attend a high school closer to where she would be staying so that he could be aware of anything happening to her. Close to his grandmother and close to the hospital, and apparently, taking him away from getting closer to Bokuto earlier.

Keiji didn’t regret not going to Fukurodani, the time he had spent with his grandmother before her passing had been worth it. It had been worth it to see her smile as Keiji told her about his day and about his team, and his games when he visited her after those.

It was just interesting. An interesting coincidence, that if things had been different Keiji could have met Bokuto earlier.

As it was, he had met Bokuto now, so that didn’t matter. He would probably always think about that what if, but Bokuto was here with him now eating breakfast, and that was all that mattered.  


 

The next morning Bokuto came for breakfast again. He didn’t ask this time, and Keiji didn’t ask. When they had stopped by the entrance Keiji had simply grabbed at his hand to drag him inside, and only when they were sitting down with their plates in front of them did he look up to see Bokuto smiling at him.  


 

They are lying on their backs, waiting for the sky to lighten just that little bit more before they move to the ledge when Keiji feels it.

The stars are coming together, and today his moment will come.

They sit on the ledge, hand in hand as always with Bokuto swinging his legs against the wall when it starts.

“Do you always eat the same thing every day?”

Keiji hums. “It’s not exactly the same every day, but it can get repetitive. Most people go out to buy some of their meals a couple of days during the week so that it doesn’t get so bad.”

“Ah, do you do that?”

He can feel the way Bokuto moves next to him, and Keiji knows that what he wants is coming, that he will have his opportunity soon.

“Not really, whenever we went out to eat when I was at home it was always for a reason. Just to change it up doesn’t seem fit as a very good reason for me.”

“I see.” Keiji sees the way Bokuto looks at him in his peripheral vision.

Bokuto pulls him back, away, and they climb down. Bokuto holds himself smaller at the bottom of the ladder.

“We have practice this morning because the next semester starts soon so I can’t go to breakfast with you, sorry.” This is the first Keiji has heard of this, usually Bokuto says that he can’t do something earlier in the morning, almost as soon as they meet.

It’s just an excuse to leave.

“That’s a shame.” Keiji says. “Do you have training this evening as well?”

Bokuto shakes his head, apparently all the answer that Keiji is getting. “Did you want to go out for something to eat then?” Bokuto looks up at him, still holding himself back, but there’s a light catching behind his eyes. “Going out to eat _with_ someone is a reason, and much better than going out to eat alone.”

Bokuto nods his head this time. The match has been struck, and the fire is starting.

“Is there anywhere you like to eat? I haven’t really been out much in this area.”

Bokuto straightens up. “We can go to my favourite if you want? We can meet here or at the dorm and I’ll take you!”

“Here is good.” Keiji doesn’t want to have Bokuto pick him up from the dorm, not when every one sees them at breakfast already. He doesn’t need his roommate seeing and having more fodder for teasing. “Seven?” Keiji says, hopeful.

“Yes!” Bokuto cheers, all back to normal again. “I’ll see you here then!”

“Great!” Keiji says, catching Bokuto before he turns to leave. He’s giddy all at once for the fact that he has organised this meeting, this event, that he will be going out with Bokuto elsewhere, he’s done it. Then he’s also nervous, can feel his pulse spiking and racing it’s way around his body, feels like every thing in him is moving too fast, too much, and that it must be obvious to Bokuto as well, because Bokuto is still looking at him, not leaving, just looking. Can probably guess from Keiji’s traitor of a body that he has more to say.

The stars are alligned.

“It’s a date then!” Keiji shouts it at Bokuto, rather than the calm, cool, collected way in which he had wanted to say it, had pictured himself saying it. He sees the words register in Bokuto’s mind as his eyes widen, but that’s enough for today.

It has been so long since Keiji had seen Bokuto run away after they bid farewell, although it would probably happen again once classes started. Today though it was Keiji’s turn to run. To get away without seeing Bokuto’s full reaction. Bokuto is too nice, even if the word date has turned him off, if he doesn’t tell Keiji that he won’t be there, can’t go anymore, then he will be there. Keiji is confident in this fact.  


 

And he has a date tonight.


	11. 4:52 AM

Keiji was an idiot.

He had not planned for going on dates when he came to university. He had planned on being strong and not forming meaningless attachments that only led to disappointment. He had planned on parties and a night with someone who looked nice.

Keiji had not planned on dates.

So he was stuck, staring into his closet and looking at nothing. Clothes among hangers, in drawers, haphazardously strewn across his bed and the floor and very nearly his roommates bed too. Clothes and clothes and clothes and nothing to wear.

He had thought the date would be ruined. Either by him not managing to ask Bokuto, or Bokuto showing up and deciding that he didn’t _want_ it to be a date, or when _he_ realised that he was too far in and Bokuto was not even close to dipping his toes in and actually still seated halfway up the beach. He had never thought about the date being ruined due to himself not showing up because he couldn’t even pick out what to wear.

It probably wasn’t even that important. Bokuto had probably thought Keiji was joking about the date part and would probably show up in his volleyball gear or only half dressed, and Keiji wanted to think that was a bad thing, but he really wouldn’t mind if Bokuto did show up like that. To Keiji though, this was a date and he wanted to dress up, for himself, for Bokuto, so that Bokuto knew that Keiji was serious about calling it a date and about it being a date and about wanting to date Bokuto.

Keiji wanted Bokuto to choke on his thoughts at the way Keiji looked, the way that Keiji choked on his when he saw Bokuto. Bokuto just happened to choke Keiji up by being less than casual and barely dressed. Keiji wanted Bokuto to choke up along the way of _wow, you scrub up nicely_.

Why had he been so determined not to fall in love with every second person that he saw? He should have known, he should have known, he should have at _least_ guessed, that for once luck would shine down on him to gift him this person which blew all others out of the water. He should have known that at some point, someone would come along who could not only live up to his fantasies, but leave them behind in the dust, not even coming close to the real thing.

Keiji should have been optimistic, should have considered the fact that maybe, just maybe, the world would feel sorry for him, and send someone his way. He should have been optimistic and brought clothes with him that were suitable for a date. He didn’t have anything with him that he wanted to wear, nothing that seemed perfect to wear. 

He needs something that will make Bokuto think of dating him even if he hadn’t necessarily thought about it before.

“I smell date night.” His roommate says, unfortunately walking in on Keiji and his mess.

Keiji only hums an agreement.

“With _Bokuto-san_?” Keiji hates the way he says that name. Still with the teasing lilt to eternally remind him to never drink alcohol again ever.

“Yes.”

Keiji expects more teasing, but instead he gets his roommate looking over his clothes to offer opinions.

“I don’t want advice from you, you don’t even know how to dress yourself.”

He looks like he’s going to rebut, but a glance to the mirror has him conceding. Instead he sits down on his bed and chooses to watch Keiji’s panic.

He’s meant to be meeting Bokuto in half an hour and he isn’t even dressed.

Maybe Bokuto won’t be dressed either, and they can both go somewhere else and not be dressed together… but Keiji really wants the date part to happen. The date part is the most exciting thing. The date part would mean that at least in some respect Bokuto would not object to possibly, one day, maybe, _thinking_ about reciprocating Keiji’s feelings.

He can only hope.

“Where are you even going? What are you doing? Can’t you dress up according to the place?”

It _is_ helpful advice, but Keiji only knew that they were going to Bokuto’s favourite. “We are going out for food but I don’t know where.” He really should have asked what Bokuto’s favourite food was, asked what his favourite place to eat was. That really would have helped, and then if Keiji knew what Bokuto’s favourite food was maybe it would be something he would be able to make. He could make it and Bokuto would send Keiji one of his sunshine smiles and crush him into a hug so big that Keiji might never escape it.

He needs to find clothes first before he can find Bokuto’s favourite food.

“I thought the whole wardrobe choice thing was just a cliche but clearly I was wrong.” His roommate has apparently filled up his _being helpful_ bar and has gone back to not helping at all. 

“Happy to help.” Keiji mutters under his breath, he doesn’t even care if it’s heard because the clock is ticking and at this rate he’ll be arriving fashionably late and instead of worrying if Bokuto will stand him up, it might result in Bokuto thinking the opposite and that would be horrible. Keiji wants Bokuto to like him, not to hate him.

In a flurry of stress he just pulls everything out from the closet onto the bed. Process of elimination it is then. He pulls up shirts, one by one to go through. Why does he own so many ugly shirts? What on earth had possessed him to own them? Had he ever actually worn them before? In public? Had he known that he was packing them? How did they end up here? He threw the worst over to his roommates bed. If he couldn’t dress himself it was better to make it look like it was on purpose by adding in ridiculous and outrageous choices to the mismatched mess he usually wore.

He had five shirts left on his bed, everything else he owned thrown across the floor. 

He’s in the tightest jeans he owns, because according to his roommate it really brings out his legs. Keiji needs something to wear, and having half an outfit is better than nothing so he takes this small bit of advice. 

He tries on all of the shirts, twice, three times. He’s been told before that his eyes are nice, but he can not for the life of him remember what colour it is that was supposed to bring them out. Once upon a time his mother had bought him a shirt to do just that, but remember which shirt it was? Not at all.

“Don’t you know any girls that can help?” Akaashi snaps at his roommate to get him to stop laughing at his constant wardrobe changes. It doesn’t do anything other than to get him to leave the room, but now that he is alone in the room Keiji feels like he’s so stressed he could cry. 

Asking was meant to be the hard part, how had he fallen so far as to not think about what to wear for the date? If he had known that it would be this hard he would have planned this part out long before planning the actual _ask Bokuto on a date_ part. Because this was ridiculous and he was running _late_ now and he would have to _run_ there, and he has these _jeans_ on, and he’s going to _sweat_ because it’s the middle of _summer_ , and he’s going to look so _gross_ when he gets there that Bokuto is just going to run away.

He really should have known that the universe was not on his side. Too many things had been going his way lately, and he knew everything existed in a state of equilibrium, Keiji just wished that the universe could have waited a little longer to restore the balance to his life. Maybe not decided that the most important moment of his life was the right time to flip everything around and ruin everything that he had managed to do with Bokuto so far.

His roommate shows up again, and Keiji wants to scream at him because everything is going wrong, but miracle of miracles he actually does have a girl with him. A girl who spends about thirty seconds looking through Keiji’s mess of clothes on the floor and pulling out a shirt, holding it up and saying “I think this will bring out your eyes”.

If Keiji wasn’t about to go on a date he would kiss her.  
  


 

He does have to run, but the jeans get a little more give in them with each step and Keiji has probably ruined them from any future use, but at least he gets to the third science building only five minutes late. He’s panting, and he doesn’t know if breathing has ever felt like such a challenge before, but he’s here. He hasn’t even _seen_ Bokuto yet, but he can sense the presence of another person he assumes to be Bokuto there.

“Sorry I’m late.” He throws out, before going back to teaching himself how to breath. _In, out, in, out, in, out._

He stands up and is in awe at the sight of Bokuto. He’s dressed up too, and Keiji is already having trouble with breathing, but he might need to add drooling to his panting because Bokuto looks _delicious_. It’s different to seeing him barely dressed, or half dressed, or in his actual running gear - Bokuto has more clothes on than Keiji has ever seen him in and somehow it makes him even more appealing. He’s not sure how it works, but he’s very appreciative of Bokuto’s body and the fact that Bokuto at least does apparently know how to dress himself or has someone to do it for him.

“It’s okay! I didn’t wait that long!” Keiji has seen enough movies to know that Bokuto has probably been waiting here for a while, even though it was Keiji’s idea for the date which means that it should have been him that got here early and definitely not late.

“How long have you been here?”

“An hour I think.” Keiji was the worst human to ever exist, it doesn’t matter that Bokuto had for some reason shown up ridiculously early, and admitted to it. Keiji knows that Bokuto doesn’t mean to say that he’s been here for that long to make him feel bad, because it was way before they were scheduled to meet anyway. He just feels bad because if he had shown up fifteen minutes earlier as planned he could have saved Bokuto from twenty minutes of waiting around by himself.

“I’m sorry for being late.” Keiji repeats, it’s really the only thing he can do, because no matter how much he wishes that he could rewind time to find the shirt that’s been picked out for him so that he could have arrived earlier, it’s not going to happen.

“Don’t worry!” Keiji actually feels himself relaxing, Bokuto’s posture encouraging him to actually not worry, and show that Bokuto isn’t actually angry at him for being late. “I was really nervous about it and got kicked out for being annoying.” That might be something to worry about, how long has Bokuto been kicked out for? Did he wait a while before coming or was he kicked out an hour ago?

Before he had time to even do his hair?

“Um…” He doesn’t really know how to bring it up because maybe Bokuto had meant for his hair to stay down for the date, but Keiji really prefers it when it’s up. He just points to his hair and Bokuto squawks before raising his hands to try and cover it up.

“My friend said that it looked better down, but I don’t really like my hair when it’s down.”

Keiji doesn’t know why, Bokuto looks fine with his hair down, but that’s really it. His hair being down reminds Keiji of exams and stress and a Bokuto that didn’t seem himself.

“I like it better up.”

Bokuto beams at him, but he doesn’t bring his hands down from where he’s trying to hide his hair.

“I knew I shouldn’t have listened to him.”

It’s said so uncharacteristically quietly that Keiji isn’t sure the words were meant for him to hear, rather just Bokuto talking to himself.

“How do you usually do it?” If it’s easy enough to do, then he’s fine with following along with Bokuto until he can get it done to his satisfaction.

“Gel, it takes ten minutes I think, usually.”

“Do you want to go back home and do it?” Bokuto blushes, and Keiji wonders if maybe he’s been kicked out for the entire night. “If you can’t go back home we could go into the city and buy some gel if you’d like.” He offers as an alternative. Bokuto’s cheeks are still red but he nods at this.

“The station is this way.”

Keiji falls into step beside Bokuto who still won’t take his hands away from his head. It’s a shame really. Bokuto’s hair doesn’t look _bad_ , it just looks _normal_ apart from the colour of it. It’s a shame though, because this is a _date_ , Bokuto is even _dressed_ for a date, and Keiji would have loved to try and catch his swinging hand to hold.

His theory is that if they could hold hands now then maybe Bokuto would reach for his hand when he walked Keiji home in the future, for as long as that keeps happening. When classes start it probably won’t happen, but for the couple of weeks they have between now and then Keiji would have liked to hold hands between their time on the rooftop and breakfast, assuming that Bokuto is going to keep coming for breakfast.

The station is fairly empty, long past the time when people would be heading home from work, and as it’s the one closest to the campus Keiji assumes another reason for it’s emptiness is the absence of students. It’s nice though. It means that even though he’s got on black jeans in the summer heat he doesn’t have to also survive hot bodies around him. Only Bokuto’s, which he doesn’t mind. Perhaps the only downside is that it means there’s no real excuse for them to bump into each other and need to stand too close together.  
  


 

They finally make it to a shop to buy Bokuto’s gel, and Bokuto stops walking around with his hands up in his hair. It had been embarrassing to be cast looks by the people walking past at Bokuto’s strange need to hold his hair up, but Keiji distracted himself from that easily enough because he is _out_ , in the _city_ , with _Bokuto_ , in the _evening_.

They aren’t on the roof, and they haven’t just gone home from the roof.

They are in the city, like real people. Like Bokuto is a real person with a life who doesn’t just exist on a rooftop and in Keiji’s dreams.  
  


 

Keiji is on a date with Bokuto.


	12. 4:53 AM

It was amazing to Keiji how he could feel all of these things for this boy with him. This strange, excitable, and yet beautiful man with him. 

Because really, why was Bokuto stopping in the middle of the shopping district in order to gel up his hair? It was unnecessary. They could find a bathroom somewhere, or Keiji could do it for him. 

Keiji would _love_ to do it for him, and he thought that he would be able to do a pretty good job of it too. He had spent far too many a time in the space before he fell asleep thinking of Bokuto’s hair, running his hands through it in all kinds of ways, in all kinds of situations. As such, Keiji thought that he had a very good image of how Bokuto’s hair usually looked, especially when pairing his mind with the fact that he had actually spent nearly every morning of the past few months looking at Bokuto, most of that time with his hair up.

Keiji had a strange passion for Bokuto’s hair which was something he had never really experienced before. He had never thought about a persons hair much until encountering Bokuto, and Bokuto’s hair couldn’t help but to make Keiji wonder if a person could be attracted to hair. Because Keiji might be.

Bokuto only agrees to let Keiji style his hair for him if he can see what is happening to it. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, I just want to make sure it looks okay.” Keiji suggests a bathroom, but Bokuto shakes him off dragging him by the hand, _finally the hand_ , to a small fountain which Bokuto sits on the edge of, staring into the pool of water. “Here will do!”

Keiji might be able to learn more about more things about this boy, but Keiji will never be able to fully understand him. Bokuto is a mystery, and Keiji wonders if anyone has been able to solve him, wonders if Bokuto has even solved it.

Bokuto’s hair is mussed from his continuous pulling and covering of it, and Keiji makes it worse before making it better. He doesn’t even stick gel on his hands to first run them through Bokuto’s hair. It’s so soft and silky, clearly just washed, that Keiji is doubting if the gel will even be able to hold it up. Bokuto hums in what sounds like content from Keiji’s ministrations, and so he allows himself to keep going for longer.

Far too much time, yet still not enough, passes before Bokuto turns to him and asks if he could actually do his hair now.

Keiji feels his face heat up, and runs his hands through Bokuto’s hair, from his neck forward to his face before removing his hands to scoop out some gel. This time when he runs his hands through the hair it sticks. It takes Keiji conscious effort to focus on pulling Bokuto’s hair out the way he usually styles it, he needs to focus on completing his task and not just continuing to stroke through his hair the way he had before. It would become obvious, and Bokuto might not like it as much if his hair became stuck that way for the rest of the night.

Even if the rest of the night is passing quickly.

Bokuto has to crouch a strange distance between the nearest store light and the fountain in order to see his hair without the reflection being cast into shadow. Keiji’s watches with amusement, and a little something else at the way Bokuto effortlessly raises himself up and down in his effort to not block the light using only his thighs. Strong, Powerful. Otherwise he can’t quite help but wonder what happened to the sun, and how long it had been dark for. Keiji can’t even picture the colours thrown across the city as the sun set, had they been inside for it, or had he just been sufficiently distracted by Bokuto?

The sun running through the city with him is far more blazing than the one hanging in the sky.

Bokuto smiles when he has finally been able to declare that he is happy with Keiji’s work, and really, it’s so blinding that he should have just done that to light up his reflection in the pool.

“Akaashi! Thank you!” Bokuto clasps both of Keiji’s hands in both of his in gratitude. Keiji really hadn’t done that much, but he is grateful for the contact anyway.

“Any time.” He responds, meaning it. Meaning both to gel Bokuto’s hair and if he ever for whatever reason felt like being petted. Keiji would love to get his hands on that hair again.

Keiji would like to think that they are being drawn closer. Bokuto has caught him up in those wonderfully gleaming eyes and he definitely feels himself getting pulled in.

Then Bokuto’s stomach growls and Bokuto pulls back and laughs. “Right, we were meant to be getting food!”

Keiji had almost forgotten that food had been what they met up for, Bokuto’s favourite food. Running his hands through Bokuto’s hair, holding hands with him just now by the fountain and gazing into each others eyes - it had really calmed him down compared to the ball of stress he had been earlier, picking out his clothes and running late.

They hold hands walking to back to the station, Keiji is so, so thankful that Bokuto having his hair in place leaves his hands free to clasp tightly around his own. It’s warm, it’s nice, and one or both of their hands might be sweating, but it’s not enough to make either of them let go. Bokuto’s hands are so nice, rough and warm and weathered, and Keiji is so happy to be holding them in this real life, feels happy to have them in his grasp without needing to be on the rooftop.

 

  
The station and the train are still quiet, and Bokuto stands with Keiji at the door, hands still joined, and he’s giddy because Bokuto keep looking at him to throw small smiles at him. Nothing like the ones that usually make Keiji’s heart clench, they’re softer, more concentrated, and it doesn’t so much as make his heart clench as it makes him acutely aware of his pulse right under Bokuto’s fingers. His life flowing underneath Bokuto’s hands, and he probably doesn’t even know it. Probably doesn’t even know that already, right now, for a while, he’s been holding Keiji’s heart in those hands. Strong, powerful, yet always so gentle when resting against his skin.

It was even darker when they finally stepped out of the station again. The stars had been blanketed by clouds and the moon shone very dimly through them to light up the space they were walking. 

Bokuto led him to a yakiniku restaurant, and Keiji filed that information away for the future - yakiniku was easy.

There were only a few people that Keiji could see seated on the other side of the glass, mostly drinking and with dirty plates littering their tables. He followed after Bokuto as he walked in to ask if they had a free table, only to be told that the kitchen had closed for the night.

That was… disappointing.

Keiji felt the words stab at his empty stomach, where it rolled uncomfortably at the empty feeling. It was already hours after they had been meant to eat, and now they would need to find somewhere else that hadn’t closed up yet. Bokuto seemed to take it worse, possibly because he had been extra excited about going to his favourite place for his favourite food. The blow had to have been harder, and Keiji was glad that he had done Bokuto’s hair earlier. If Bokuto had looked at him like that with his hair down too, Keiji would have been too reminded of Bokuto when he was stressed out and likely would have cancelled the whole thing.

Instead he pulled Bokuto out and down the street. It was full of cafes and restaurants, and he could even see fast food signs glittering in the distance. If they couldn’t get what they had planned, that would just mean they would need to come out again for it. He would tell Bokuto this, but he still looked too depressed to take in anything, so he held onto the thought for later.

He cast a lot of glances Bokuto’s way. He didn’t think that asking him what he wanted to eat would work, so he was hoping that as they walked past the open eateries that Bokuto would give some indication of possibly wanting to eat there: a lingering look or a squeeze on the hand, anything was game as a sign at this point. Instead Bokuto focused only ahead of him, and Keiji had no idea what to do for food. 

This was not working out as planned, nowhere even close to planned. Bokuto was upset and hungry, and Keiji was stressed and hungry and they were apparently surrounded by places that had their kitchens closed and were only serving drinks. Which would have worked as an alternative, if they had both actually been able to drink.

How had it gotten to be so late at night?

Had all their running around through the city and the train stations and looking for food really taken them that long?

It was way past ten now. Ten being the last time Keiji checked the time, and he was too scared to check again. Everything the universe had done to lead to Keiji getting this date had been undone spectacularly. What had he done to turn everything against him? The only good thing was that Bokuto was still holding onto his hand, and Keiji was really holding onto that one good thing. If Bokuto let go then Keiji was going to go home and scream and throw all of his stupid clothes that he had that were not good enough to wear out the window, because that was where all of this had started.

Would Bokuto even want to go on a date with him again given how badly this one had turned out?

 

  
Bokuto dragged him sideways, and Keiji was thankfully cut off from thinking further down that line. 

“We may as well grab something to eat at least.” Bokuto said, and Keiji noticed that it was a convenience store that he had been dragged into. They walked around to the prepacked food, still heaped with food even here at the end of the day. It was terrible really, compared to the yakiniku that he now knew they had meant to be eating, but Keiji still reached for a basket, hitching it up between his waist and the fridge so that he could pack it full of onigiri without dropping his connection to Bokuto. Three of every flavour seemed a good start. Bokuto was packing sandwiches into the same basket.

If only they had planned for a picnic this would be perfect.

Keiji carried the basket over to where the drinks were, and he and Bokuto put a couple of drinks into the basket each as well. Then they went and paid.

Keiji had wanted to pay, because he had been the one to ask Bokuto out, but Bokuto claimed that going out to eat at all had been his idea so that he should pay for it. The clerk, listening to them argue, said that if they wanted they could just pay for each others food, but Keiji had more food so he didn’t want Bokuto to pay extra just because Keiji’s stomach didn’t know when to stop. Another ten minutes and they ended up just paying for their own things.

 

  
The night had dragged out so long, and the only memorable thing Keiji had was running his hands through Bokuto’s hair.

Although, to be fair, that was a very nice thing that he had been wanting to do for a long time. So, to him at least the date wasn’t a total loss. He didn’t know how Bokuto was feeling about it, and maybe didn’t want to know.

 

  
Bokuto led him this time, still clasped by the hands and Keiji held on tightly. This contact was the last little thing that Keiji was clinging to that Bokuto still wanted to be here, with him. He needed to hold on.

He didn’t know where Bokuto was taking him for the longest time, but then the streets looked familiar and the buildings looked familiar and here they were.

It was also fitting then, right as they arrived for the rain to start. Dark sky breaking apart and falling down around them. It was only fitting, they still had to climb up, which in the dark and the rain was doubly dangerous. The universe was definitely against Keiji today, and now it apparently wanted him to die.

Bokuto went up first, convenience store bag swinging from his arm, and Keiji followed. He couldn’t even enjoy looking up at Bokuto climb, too dark and wet for him to pass attention from the squeaking rungs that were all he had to stop him from falling. Although tonight it was hard to actually hear the squeaking with the rain in his ear; and the wind now, joining it in the worlds crusade to have Keiji experience death tonight.

He wouldn’t let it happen, he needed to go get yakiniku with Bokuto.

At the roof Keiji was glad once again for the umbrella Bokuto had thrown up here all that time ago. Bokuto was already opening it up and standing it against the fan for them to sit. Keiji sat down next to the food, and then Bokuto sat next to him, knocking against his knees but not moving further away.

They ate in silence, and when it was done Keiji moved closer to lean against Bokuto, matching his breathing with the rise and fall of Bokuto’s chest.

“Tonight kinda sucked.” Keiji can feel the way Bokuto chuckles at his words. Deep and rumbling behind where Keiji’s head is resting.

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know why you’re apologising.”

“I had to do my hair and it took so long that the restaurant was closed when we got there.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Keiji didn’t want Bokuto to think anything was his fault. “My day was bad before I even came out, the universe is against me.”

Bokuto laughed again, and Keiji wanted to be offended by it, but it was such a nice sound.

“I don’t think the universe can be against anyone.”

“It can, and it is. It was on my side for a while and it decided to balance everything out today.”

“It’s too late for this kind of talk.” Bokuto said, yawning once the words had left his mouth.

Keiji felt bad again, they had only really settled down, it had only just started feeling like a date. Even if this date was a convenience store picnic on the roof and in the rain. It was always nice to just sit and talk to Bokuto, and it was nice now too. He felt bad though, this was early in the night for him, but Bokuto woke up early, he probably went to sleep early.

He yawned again.

“Did you want to go home and sleep?”

Keiji didn’t want him too, and if Bokuto left Keiji would probably stay up here alone until Bokuto came again in the morning, if he came.

Another yawn.

“I don’t really want to leave you.”

Again.

Keiji shifted, scrambling along the ground until his back was against the fan and he pulled at Bokuto until he moved, sitting now between his legs. Keiji picked up his hands and ran them through Bokuto’s hair. It was more difficult now, stiff with gel, but he marveled at the way he could feel Bokuto relaxing in front of him.

“You can sleep up here if you want.”

Bokuto slipped down, still in Keiji’s lap, although his feet were protruding from the reach of the umbrella. He looked back, up at Keiji. He looked beautiful lying there. Even after this night, where every bad thing that could have happened had, this beautiful boy was still here with him, in the rain and smiling at him and looking at him like _that_ with those eyes.

“Okay.”

Keiji leaned down, stroking his hand down the side of Bokuto’s face and watching as Bokuto moved into his touch.

“I’ll wake you up in the morning.”

Bokuto hummed, turning his head away and shifting down again. Keiji moved his hands back up to stroke through Bokuto’s hair.

Everything had gone wrong, but Keiji found himself happy sitting here with Bokuto in his lap. It almost seemed fitting that they had ended up here. He had thought the universe was against him, but maybe this was what it had been trying to achieve.

He, and Bokuto, together on the rooftop.

He tucked a strand of Bokuto’s hair behind his ear, and smiled as Bokuto moved his head towards his hand in his sleep.

He would try again, for the date that had been planned, but all things considered, this one had turned out fine in the end.


	13. 4:54 AM

Keiji doesn’t realise what’s happening, and when he does realise what it is he forces his eyes open to face the bright light of the day. Bokuto is still asleep on top of him, and Keiji has failed in the one thing that he promised before Bokuto fell asleep: they have missed the sunrise.  
  
He hadn’t even known that he was asleep, hadn’t even felt like he was falling asleep. The last thing he could remember was running his hands through Bokuto’s hair, even as the man slept, and just thinking about how nice it was. How nice it was to be covered in Bokuto’s body and his warmth, how nice it was that after all their trouble it had been reconciled and they had ended up here together. How nice it was that instead of going home, Bokuto had chosen to stay here with him, chosen to sleep in his lap.  
  
He had chosen Keiji.  
  
And Keiji had failed him.  
  
He didn’t even know what the best course of action would be. Should he attempt to wake Bokuto up now and apologise because somehow, Keiji had managed to fall asleep at what he could only assume was a decent time? He felt far too rested for it to have been otherwise. Should he leave Bokuto sleeping, and claim that he had tried to wake him up? Lie to him. Should he leave Bokuto sleeping and say that he just couldn’t bring himself to wake Bokuto up early? A half truth in which he claimed Bokuto looked like he could do with the rest. Should he tell the other half truth, and either try to get back to sleep now or simply pretend to be so when Bokuto woke up so that he didn’t actually have to tell Bokuto that he had slept through it, Bokuto could infer.  
  
Who is he even kidding? When Bokuto wakes up Keiji will probably kneel in front of him to apologise for falling asleep and as a result making them both miss out on the sunrise. It would have been a nice end to the date, taking them back to how they had met and this morning ritual that they see out together. Instead it is almost like adding to the _everything gone wrong_ part of the date that had happened the day before, except that missing the sunrise isn’t that horrible.  
  
Now they’ve completed the set.  
  
Keiji sleeping on his own, and Bokuto sleeping on his own, and this, their first date, is marked as the first time that both of them have been asleep up here together. It’s nice. Bokuto is warm and soft and surprisingly clingy in his sleep, or maybe not so surprisingly so given how often he reaches for Keiji when they are both awake, if only on the rooftop.  
  
But then Bokuto had held his hand all of last night, so maybe from now on there would be more of that. Like when walking Keiji home, or at breakfast if Bokuto came again.  
  
Bokuto rolls over in his lap, and Keiji smiles at Bokuto’s face, lax in sleep, and at his hair sprawled everywhere. Whether it’s from the movement in his sleep or Keiji’s hands he’s not sure. He works to make it so that now it will be his hands, amazed that in this time, now that he’s been awake, that his hands have remained idle. Why? When he has a perfectly pliant head of hair in his lap.  
  
And a deeply breathing Bokuto that he can feel throughout his whole body. _In, out, in, out_. Keiji matches the timing of his hands through Bokuto’s hair with the feel of his breathing.  
  
 _In, out, in, out_.  
  
The entire lower half of Bokuto’s body was damp, and his legs were still outside the reach of the umbrella and currently subject to the constant drizzle that seemed to be surrounding them. It was amazing that he could sleep through being wet, Keiji couldn’t imagine himself falling asleep under the rain. He felt lucky enough that somehow he hadn’t shifted the umbrella to collapse over the both of them while _he_ was sleeping.  
  
 _In, out, in, out_.  
  
Bokuto was so beautiful, and Keiji was still breathless at the sight of him, at the feel of him, at the warmth of him engulfing him. Bokuto could have been anywhere with anyone, and yet he had chosen to be here in this moment, with Keiji.  
  
Surely that had to mean something, more than something. Had to maybe mean something close to a lot.  
  
He had been waiting so long for any kind of sign that Bokuto liked him back, could come to love him back. This was it, this had to be it. Bokuto had agreed to a date, and even after what had to be one of the shittiest dates in existence Bokuto had stayed with him, curled up into Keiji and fallen asleep with him. He cared; at the very least this showed that he cared.  
  
Bokuto cared, for Keiji, about him.  
  
The horrible date couldn’t have possibly been more successful for giving him this information.  
  
Bokuto made a noise in his lap, and Keiji slowed the movements of his hands. Moving slower, hopefully passing along through his fingertips the message that Bokuto could go back to sleep if he wanted, sleep longer if he wanted.  
  
He didn’t go to sleep, he shifted further in Keiji’s lap, head tilting back again and Keiji was met with those blazing eyes. Glowing even brighter when compared to the sleepiness that covered the rest of his face. It was beautiful, and he was as beautiful as ever. More so, because then he smiled, at Keiji. Eyes and smile on Keiji in the early morning after they had slept together on the roof after their first date.  
  
The universe couldn’t have been as against him as he had thought, if it had been able to gift him this. This time, this place, this very experience. This was worth all the bad things of yesterday, of his entire life. Every bad thing was worth this moment.  
  
“The sun’s up.” Bokuto’s voice was hoarse from sleep, and Keiji felt a shiver run down his spine at the thought of it. Hopefully Bokuto hadn’t felt it too given how much contact there was between them now.  
  
“I fell asleep,” Keiji went back to rhythmically moving his hands through Bokuto’s hair, in time with his breathing. Loving the fact that Bokuto closed his eyes and leaned into Keiji’s hands, into his body. “I’m sorry. I missed it too.”  
  
Bokuto’s eyes squinted as he smiled bigger. “That’s okay then, if you just didn’t want to wake me up it would have been bad.” He opened his eyes, soft gaze bearing straight into Keiji’s soul. “Because sometimes when you sleep I have to wake you up to leave, and it’s hard to do because you look so cute and peaceful when you sleep.” How could Bokuto say this while looking into his eyes. It was too much, too nice, too intimate, and Keiji loved it. Felt like Bokuto’s focus and attention on him was warming him him up, one word at a time, one blink at a time, one breath at a time; measured in each of Bokuto’s movements. “But I still have to brace myself to do it. So you better have slept through it too.”  
  
Keiji smiled down at Bokuto, bringing his hands down to both of Bokuto’s cheeks. He knew that the smile on Bokuto’s face now was an answering smile, to the action, to Keiji’s own smile. “I slept through it too Bokuto-san. I can’t believe I fell asleep beforehand, I haven’t slept that early in a long time.”  
  
Bokuto’s smile seems far too big to fit on his face. “It’s because you were with me!” He seems to be recovering from waking up, his voice starting to reach the pitch that Keiji is used to dealing with, which is nice, it’ll stop Keiji from the shivers running through him at his husky voice.  
  
Bokuto also doesn’t know that what he has just said is the only reason Keiji can think of for falling asleep early, so he doesn’t answer.  
  
“What about you?” Bokuto hums at him, face going soft and dreamy again. “You didn’t even sleep under the umbrella, wasn’t that uncomfortable?”  
  
Bokuto turns his face down to look at his legs, and then much to Keiji’s displeasure pushes himself up from his position to drag his legs to the dry space under the umbrella. “Ah! My legs are soaked!” Bokuto puts a hand to his pant leg and brings it back up to inspect, Keiji can see that after only that small touch it has come away with drops of water clinging to his palm. That water will never know how lucky it is.  
  
He places his hand on Keiji’s cheek, it’s cold and wet, but Keiji can feel the burn of Bokuto’s palm behind it all. Burning with sunlight even when the sun itself is nowhere to be seen, it’s sitting here with Keiji under the umbrella.  
  
Bokuto’s hand is on his cheek, and he is sitting so close, and Keiji wants to kiss him. Wants to breach the distance between them, the few centimetres that are taunting him. They had a date, it wouldn’t be strange timing to do so. It could almost be expected.  
  
Bokuto’s hand is stroking his cheek. If Keiji moved Bokuto couldn’t really be surprised, this was the moment for it.  
  
Keiji forgot that this date had been running the opposite of perfect. Everything bad that could happen, would. So shifting, to sit closer to Bokuto, to get close enough with his body that he could close the rest of the space by leaning over, was met with Bokuto moving backwards. Away; reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone and press it to his ear.  
  
Keiji hadn’t even heard it ringing, but it only made sense that it had rung now. If whoever was on the other side of the phone had waited just a minute, it would have added a little bit more of the good to their date. They must have known. Keiji didn’t know who it was, he was determined not to listen to the whispered conversation that Bokuto was having into his phone, because he was angry at whoever it was. It wasn’t their fault, but it was. Keiji wouldn’t be able to bring up that moment again, that courage again now.  
  
Now he would just be waiting for the next call, for the rain to fall harder, for someone to slip, for them to be struck down by lightning, anything. The night had been fine, but apparently now things were back to being against them. The universe had given them their time, and they had slept it away and now things were out of their hands again.  
  
Bokuto hung up, and Keiji looked over to Bokuto who grimaced at him.  
  
“I need to get back home now.” Of course he did.  
  
Bokuto stood up and made sure that the rubbish from their meagre meal was packed back into the bag for them to get rid of later. Keiji stood up and folded the umbrella down, placing it back on the floor against the cage of the fan for when they would next need it.  
  
Probably for their next date, if they had one.  
  
He followed Bokuto down the ladder, and then was greeted with awkward tension at the bottom.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Bokuto said, he just looked a mess now. Face pouting, and with his hair wet and sticking to his head. He looked upset, and Keiji felt upset.  
  
“It’s okay.” Keiji said, he wanted it to be okay, needed to feel like it was okay. “Maybe we can try the whole thing again another time and actually get in to eat.”  
  
The smile Bokuto wore now appeared instantly, as if by magic. How could he go from looking so depressed in one second to so happy in another?  
  
“Really? As a date again.”  
  
Keiji dropped his eyes, gaze lingering around Bokuto’s knees. “I would be really happy if that were the case.”  
  
Bokuto clasped him in a hug. “It’s a date!” And then he ran off, Keiji was reminded of the way that he had run off after asking Bokuto only the day before.  
  
Keiji walked home alone, no Bokuto beside him, and with empty hands. What a mess, it had contained some good parts, some moments that Keiji would treasure in his mind for a long time, forever even possibly; but overall the date could be considered nothing but a mess.  
  
Arriving home at the awkward interval between breakfast and lunch seemed only fitting, more bad luck to fill out his day. He headed to his room, at least he could shower and change into dry clothes. That would be a start to helping him feel better.  
  
“How was the date?”  
  
“Horrible.” Was the first word that came to Keiji’s mind. Before he could think again about the rooftop and how nice it had been to fall asleep with Bokuto in his lap. The actual date part of the date, was one of the worst experiences Keiji has ever had; just knowing that it actually was possible for everything to go wrong. It was really lucky that they had been able to save it before the end, stop it from going completely to shit, and then having it cut short when Keiji had been wanting to move things forward. At least Keiji had said his part before they parted. “We’re going out again soon.” He could only hope it would be soon, seeing as Bokuto had run off before a time or day could be set.  
  
Keiji had to laugh at the way that sentence made his roommates face pull.  
  
They had another try at their first date, but it was a second date.  
  
A second date with Bokuto, which could only be better than the first, and that was exciting to think about.


	14. 4:55 AM

Keiji doesn’t think that he’s ever felt this alert at this time of the day. Bokuto had been joking, but it really had been his presence to cause this effect in Keiji. It had to have been. There’s really nothing else he can think of to be the cause. Only Bokuto.

Because it has been a long time since Keiji has managed to get to sleep at what most people would call a decent time. Given how awake he feels now, he can only guess that he had to have fallen asleep shortly after midnight, a record really. Something to write down to tell his parents for when they complain about his sleeping habits. _He once slept, in the presence of Bokuto, at a reasonable time_.

They would be so proud of him, and maybe that’s a little bit sad.

If he could one day introduce them to Bokuto though, they would be a loss less sad. Keiji think that it might be hard for anyone to be sad in the presence of Bokuto.

 

  
Unfortunately for Keiji his new state of awareness means that he’s dragged out with his roommate for the day. It starts with lunch: three bowls of rice for him and Keiji eating a little bit of everything. Much to his own distaste it’s early in the lunch period, which means he can’t take as much food as he wants. This is really the only perk he sees to being on a sports team: prescribed diets. His roommate will always get to have three bowls of rice with his meal because that is what is expected of him to remain on the team.

They go out into the city, shopping. They are in all the sports shops looking around, but Keiji can’t help but to think that after being dragged around maybe he should start dragging; seeing as he recently found out that he has zero clothes to wear when he wants to make a good impression.

He forgets when he actually gets to doing this just how much of a mess shopping with his roommate is. _He_ doesn’t know how to even pick clothes that match, and _Keiji_ still doesn’t how to dress nicely. The only thing Keiji has on him that he can brag about, is that at least he doesn’t dress for four seasons in a day. It’s a miracle really, that the guy doesn’t get embarrassed for being in town like this, and an even bigger miracle that he’s not dying under the hoodie that he has on. Keiji only has a light t-shirt on and he was sweating heavily up until they made it to the coolly air-conditioned space of the shops.

At least this way they look as pathetic as they really are, and the assistant comes over to ask if they can help, and what they are looking for.

“Yes please,” Keiji doesn’t even stop the way his eyes drag up and down the body of the person in front of him. They’re dressed nice, is it them knowing how to dress, or the shop forcing their own clothes on them and as such telling them what to wear? “I need date clothes. Also, did you dress yourself?”

The assistant has already turned around, probably to lead them to where they want to go, but they stop in their tracks to look at Keiji over the shoulder. The shock on their face is very apparent. 

“Yes,” they say slowly. “I dressed myself this morning.”

“Then could you please teach me how to wear the clothes and dress myself too.” Keiji hears the whining plead of his own voice and is disgusted by it. He really does need the help though, meanwhile his roommate breaks into laughter behind him. Keiji will not have any of that. “Also I am sure you already noticed but this one is also desperately in need of help in how to dress.” The laughter stops abruptly and Keiji has done his job.

“I don’t need to learn how to dress Akaashi, I spend all my time in my uniform.”

“You aren’t wearing it now, and you look embarrassing.” Keiji was far too happy to see the shop assistant nodding their head along at the statement.

” _Wow_.”

This time it is Keiji who laughs, but they finally move to follow through to another part of the shop. “What kind of date clothes are you looking for?”

“Well we’re going out to eat, but then after that I don’t know. I just need a few clothes that I can make fit whatever is happening because I recently found out that I have nothing to wear.”

His roommate is laughing again. “And when have you been on a date?” It stops again. He can laugh all he wants, but Keiji has enough ammo to stop it every time.

Then he finds out clothes are expensive. Keiji has more than he probably needs, but that was what he got for walking in and saying he knew nothing. With the assistant continually saying that he needed _this,_ and _this_ had to go with _that_ , and Keiji couldn’t bring himself to tell them that he wasn’t expecting to buy so much. Maybe he could call his parents and ask for more allowance because right now it looked like he wouldn’t have enough to pay for half of the yakiniku when they went.

The good part of spending all his money was this: he was going to make Bokuto drool.

He had enough to go on after their first date that Bokuto was interested. Now it was time to have Bokuto experience what Keiji had, nearly _every single time_ that he saw Bokuto. He needed Bokuto to look at him and think _how_ and _wow_ and _yes please_. It was only fair, because it _wasn’t_ fair that Bokuto had a body sculpted from hours of dedicated work and attention, and Keiji only had a body that was the result of getting lucky with his metabolism now that he had stopped playing volleyball.

Now though it would be different. He had looked good in the mirror, and the assistant had praised him and his roommate had said _if it wasn’t for your precious Bokuto-san_ \- which Keiji assumed was praise, he had taken it as praise.

He just needs to figure out when this next date will be, and he’ll be able to cut out on the stress that Keiji is still convinced was the catalyst for everything else going bad. He’ll be able to dress himself in the exact outfit that had been shown to him. He won’t have to throw his clothes around the room, and he won’t have to send his roommate out to look for someone else to help him. Keiji will be partway to a real human adult and able to dress himself up for a date.

And just in case he loses it in the closet Keiji has hung the entire thing out on the frame hook on the side of it. Including shoes to match and his favourite underwear. He’s taking no chances next time. He will show up the acceptable fifteen minutes early, to which Bokuto will _probably_ have been waiting half an hour for him, and then they can go and eat.

 

  
The appearance of Bokuto clambering up over the ledge is a shock to the system. He is topless today, which is an abrupt change from seeing him in _actual clothes_ the day before. He has shorts on, and his compression tights, and Keiji watches closely as Bokuto vaults the ledge - close enough to note that these are _Bokuto’s_ compression tights. How lovely, Keiji has just gleamed the knowledge that he will spend their entire encounter chasing his eyes away from the catch of skin at Bokuto’s thighs.

“Akaashi! Good morning!” Bokuto comes over and tugs at Keiji’s hand to pull him to his feet. Keiji expects to follow him over to the ledge, but instead is pulled further forwards into Bokuto’s arms.

_Wow_.

Hugging a bare chested Bokuto might be one of the most sensuous experiences of his mortal life. Bokuto is warm, his skin is burning and Keiji can feel Bokuto’s heart pumping beneath his own chest. The sweat from Bokuto’s run here sticks to his skin, and Keiji almost feels as if he can taste it, the way he is engulfed by Bokuto, Bokuto surrounding him.

The hard breathing against his ear, the way he can feel his body expand and contract with oxygen, the sound of his heart racing, the feel of it. Keiji wants to look down to check if he would be able to see Bokuto’s heart beating away, but that would mean letting go and stepping away. He doesn’t want to do that, not now. Not when for the first time it is Keiji who is holding Bokuto’s life, can hear and feel in his arms. A steady thrum of Bokuto living, here, and now, and with Keiji.

Choosing to waste away his time, to chase all of these sunrises, spend all of these mornings of his life with Keiji.

He loves it, loves him.

They do eventually separate, they have to, but Keiji thinks that it’s the longest time he’s ever experienced a moment like that. Just to spend that amount of time not doing anything, just basking in the physical presence of each other, even if Keiji is sure that he’s had a spiritual experience just now as well.

It’s nice, it’s so nice, Bokuto is so nice.

They walk over to the ledge where they usually sit, hand in hand, and legs touching and bodies touching, and if Bokuto is training to get ready for the semester to start up again, then Keiji will undoubtedly end up rethinking his attire for their rooftop meetings as well.

It’s one thing to sit, and to feel Bokuto’s toned chest against his arms, it would be another thing entirely for Keiji to also be bare. Skin to skin, for more than just their hands and arms, that would definitely be something else.

 

  
“I’m sorry for leaving in such a rush yesterday.”

“That’s okay.” Keiji had taken enough away from they first date. Bokuto had feelings too, seemed like he had feelings too, feelings to reciprocate Keiji’s. They might not be as large, as explored as his own, but _something_ was there. He’s taken away every bad thing that happened, because that was the most important part of the date - figuring out how Bokuto might feel - and that _had_ been gleamed from it.

Instead he is much more focused on what is ahead. _Date number two_ , his outfit sitting, waiting and ready, so that Keiji will be ready to go even if he has only a five minute warning beforehand.

“I had to go to a team meeting and Kuroo was worried because I hadn’t been home, so I needed to run back and pick up my uniform and everything as well before going.”

A good reason to be in a rush to leave, Keiji thinks. Even though he has now been given the name of the person who interrupted Keiji’s attempt to kiss Bokuto. It was a good reason to call, but surely it could have waited just a minute longer. If Bokuto was late, then it could easily be claimed on the fact that he had been kicked out of home for being annoying before the date. Whatever that meant.

“I see.”

“Next time I think I’m just going to leave my phone at home.”

_Good_ , Keiji thinks. “When is next time?”

“Does next Saturday work for you?”

Any day, any time, works for Keiji. If it didn’t he would make it work. He just wants it to happen, to have a nice date that will lead to more nice dates because they both _want_ them. Not because they need to plan another date just to get over the horror of date number one.

“Same time as well?”

“Yeah I think it works the best. I don’t want to meet for lunch, just because depending on the morning I don’t think eating yakiniku for your first meal of the day is a good thing to do.”

Keiji laughs, trust in Bokuto to think about Keiji’s sleeping habits and about what food he is putting into his body to be the determining factor of what time to plan their date. He doesn’t mind though. It’s nice every time that Bokuto shares these little tidbits that he has learnt of Keiji. It shows that Keiji isn’t the only one paying attention, which is a nice thing for _him_ to learn.

 

  
They watch the sun come up in silence, although Keiji’s mind is screaming when Bokuto drops his hand to pick it up in his other, snaking his arm around Keiji to rest against his hip. They don’t touch this much unless it’s in a hug, or when Bokuto is stressed. This much when they are seated like this and Bokuto seems his happy and excitable self is _new_ , is _welcome_ , is _great_.

Is this what else the date has given Keiji? An invitation to more contact? He likes it. Keiji has been able to get a confirmation on Bokuto’s feelings, and Bokuto it looks like, has been given a confirmation in being able to rest on him this way. The horrible first date had definitely been successful.

 

  
They leave soon after the sun is fully present in the sky. Bokuto clearly looks like he is training to bring in the new semester, and Keiji doesn’t want to keep him from it by insisting that he walking Keiji home or join him for breakfast.

“See you tomorrow, Bokuto-san.”

His face lights up in a smile, and Keiji can only guess that he’s happy for not needing to let Keiji down with not going to breakfast. Keiji is glad that he had read the situation well. If, for whatever reason, Bokuto had still wanted to come to breakfast Keiji would have let him, but his words just now would have probably put Bokuto off from wanting to join. He has learned this much about him at least.

“Oh, wait! I forgot to give you something yesterday!”

“Really?” It’s really no fault of Keiji’s to stare down Bokuto’s body here. If Keiji had forgotten to take something home with him yesterday, then Bokuto should be carrying it. But in his minimal clothes, Keiji can’t really see where it would be hidden. There are no _unexpected_ bulges in his shorts, and his compression tights remain as wonderfully compressed along Bokuto’s legs as ever. Unless it’s something that he is keeping in his shoe, and Keiji doesn’t know what that could be unless Keiji somehow left money or his IC card on the roof yesterday. Except that he had used both earlier when he went out shopping.

Bokuto swoops in on him, and Keiji prepares for a hug.

He raises his arms up, but Bokuto dodges around them. He trips over doing so and ends up crashing his face into the side of Keiji’s.

“See you tomorrow!” Bokuto shouts out, still far too close to Keiji for it to be appreciated, and then he runs away.

Bokuto hadn’t given him anything. Had he been embarrassed by tripping over and so decided to run away instead? He’ll ask about it tomorrow, maybe when Bokuto isn’t on his feet and moving so that he can’t trip and forget to give it to Keiji.


	15. 4:59 AM

Keiji felt himself bubbling with excitement as the clock on his phone ticked over to Saturday. It didn’t matter that it was midnight, that he would be seeing Bokuto and then going home to sleep before the date. It didn’t matter, all that mattered was that his phone now said _Saturday_ , and there under his list of things to do, sitting there as the _only_ thing in his list, was _date with Bokuto-san_. It was happening. _Today_.

He couldn’t sit still knowing it, even knowing that it was only midnight, nineteen hours to go until date number two.

Only four hours and fifty minutes to go until the sun came up though, if he left now it wouldn’t be the longest time he spent on the roof. It was also preferable to sit out there under the stars, rather than to sit here in his room being jittery. He didn’t want to accidentally wake his roommate up. So he tiptoed from the room, switched the light off and made his way out.

Sixteen hours, thirty seven minutes and _twenty-four, twenty-three, twenty-two seconds_ until their date. He hadn’t set a countdown on his phone for it at all, because it would be pointless. Keiji wouldn’t be taking his phone, he would leave before the countdown finished. He was too excited, far more excited than for the first one, but that had not had the time to build up. He had invited Bokuto out in the morning, and they had gone out that night.

This had built up over _days_ , and Keiji tried to keep the excitement at bay, too many expectations would only bring up that many more ways in which it could go wrong. It was useless though to try, because he was just too excited to keep it inside.

A date with Bokuto, where they both knew that it was a date. Maybe where they both had expectations of how it would go - Keiji had only two, but he would work so that hopefully he would be disappointed by neither.

 

  
Even Bokuto looked giddy climbing over the ledge. Keiji hoped that he was as excited as he was. Although when he felt like Bokuto was vibrating on the ledge next to him as they watched the sun come up he didn’t hope anymore, Keiji was sure that Bokuto was _definitely_ looking forward to it as much as Keiji was.

It was even more exciting to part with a hug, and Bokuto whispering huskily into his ear.

“See you later.”

When Keiji settled in to sleep, there was eleven hours, forty-six minutes and _thirty-nine, thirty-eight, thirty-seven_ seconds until their date.

 

  
Why was the universe so against him?

 

  
He was standing outside in a crowd of people, towel wrapped around his waist and pointedly ignoring the people around who kept giggling at him. All he wanted was to make the date perfect; to shower, get dressed, and leave. Nowhere in his plans had the fire alarm going off in the middle of his shower been a part of his plan.

He was meant to be meeting Bokuto _now_ , he had planned to be there fifteen minutes early. As it was, he wasn’t even dressed. All this planning, hanging his clothes up days ago, not touching them so that they were still as clean and fresh as the day he brought them home, so that they were in the perfect condition to just throw on and then go. If they were caught up in whatever it was that had caused the alarm, Keiji was going to kill someone.

It was seven thirty, and Keiji was finally able to go back inside. It was seven thirty-two and Keiji was finally able to get dressed. It was seven thirty-seven and Keiji was finally able to get out the door. It was seven forty-eight and Keiji was an hour later than planned on getting to where he was meant to meet Bokuto.

Who was still here.

“I am so, so, so, so, sorry.” Keiji had to bow, he had to. If Bokuto had arrived as early as he had the last time, then he would be nearing two hours of waiting for Keiji to show up.

“Don’t worry Akaashi!” Bokuto could say that all he liked, but Keiji was so, so, so late, and he hated it. Another catalyst, this date was meant to make up for their last one, but instead it had been put on the fast track to being worse.

He felt Bokuto’s hand settle in the centre of his back, but still he kept his head bowed. He wouldn’t mind if Bokuto left, wouldn’t even blame him. Something was wrong with Keiji, apparently the universe did not want them to date and Keiji could take a hint. Two people wanting something was nothing if the universe was against it, no matter what the shoujo manga readers of the baseball team told him, this was apparently not meant to be.

“Seriously Akaashi, I heard that you were going to be late so it’s fine. Sucks that you had the fire alarm go off in the shower, but at least my hair is done. You were late again but we’re already one point up from last time.”

Bokuto had a strange way of saying things, but finally straightening up to meet Bokuto’s eyes and see his hair, spiked up to both sides of his head, Keiji found himself actually feeling better.

“Thank you Bokuto-san, but I’m still sorry. I should have showered earlier.”

“Stop blaming yourself, if you want later we can find out who set it off and you can go and blame them.” Keiji laughed, he wouldn’t do that, but it was fun to picture.

“Are we going to make it in time for food?” Keiji had to ask, worried.

Expectation one of this date: actually eat at the yakiniku restaurant.

Bokuto made a big show of checking his wrist for the time, even though it was bare. “We’ll have to rush.”

“Okay.”

It was eight o’clock by the watch that was _actually_ sitting on Keiji’s wrist. He didn’t know what time the kitchen closed though. Only knew that it would definitely be closed in two hours time.

Bokuto smiles at him, shining light from the setting sun glowing out from his face. His hand reaches for Keiji’s and he holds on tight, even as Bokuto drags him into a jog. It’s difficult, to run hand in hand, but Keiji won’t drop it for anything. Proven true when he stumbles over the curb Bokuto is dragging him down and instead of letting go to stop his fall all he does is hold on tighter, but then Bokuto flexes his arm and stops Keiji before he really falls.

Turns out Bokuto’s arms are good for more than just aesthetic, Keiji can now claim that they have literally saved his life.

When they slow from their brisk jog into a walk Keiji assumes that they are close, and rounding the corner lets him see that he recognises this street from the last time they were out. Blessedly, even though they are walking now Bokuto doesn’t drop his hand.

If all his dates with Bokuto fail, Keiji will keep planning them if only to walk around the city hand in hand with Bokuto.

That small amount of contact makes him so ridiculously happy.

Keiji can see through the glass when they approach that the restaurant is full of people, it’s a good sign that they are all eating, although he’s worried about if they’ll be able to get a seat. It looks busy.

Bokuto appears to have no such reservations, he strolls in and Keiji hovers half a step behind him to keep his hand locked.

“I organised a table?” Keiji does not like the way that Bokuto makes it sound like a question.

“What name?”

Bokuto hesitates. “Bokuto?” Keiji is even more dispirited that Bokuto has to even say that like it’s a question. The person manning the counter shakes their head. “Kuroo?” Bokuto’s voice gets even higher as he asks this time. If this is the same Kuroo who called up last week, and if he _actually_ has booked them a table, then maybe Keiji can forgive him. _Maybe_.

“Kuroo for two at eight-thirty?”

Bokuto nods, “Yes, yes! That’s us!”

Eight thirty? Running late has somehow led them to being ten minutes early for their reservations. It has to be the biggest miracle that Keiji has ever encountered.

The person bustles off to see if the table is ready yet, and Bokuto slumps against the wall. “We made it!” He cheers.

“I can’t believe we actually made it here early.”

“It’s because I’m the best!” Bokuto cheers again, this time pumping the fist not holding onto Keiji into the air.

Keiji smiles, hums. “I think you might be.”

Bokuto blushes, and Keiji likes the way the colour tints his cheeks. Likes that it is something that he has done, said, that has caused this reaction.

“Akaashi, I’m going to need a warning if you’re going to say cute things.”

Now it’s Keiji’s turn to blush, he can feel it creeping along his face, and suddenly he feels far too warm even though there’s no reason to be. The restaurant is air conditioned, and he has made sure that his clothes can last with running through the sweltering heat of summer, one of the things he was looking for when he went shopping.

It seems like it’s Bokuto’s turn to smile now at the effect that his words have had on Keiji.

“It wasn’t cute.”

“Akaashi you’re cute, by default everything you say is cute and it just makes it better when you’re saying something nice about me.”

Bokuto might actually be harbouring the sun in his body. Keiji feels like his whole body is on fire, starting from where he can feel Bokuto’s gaze on his face and carrying through where Bokuto’s hand is in his. If this is how the date is going to go, he’s not prepared.

Months he has known Bokuto, and he remembers being called cute only a couple of times. Hearing it twice in the space of about thirty seconds is a little too much to handle.

He can’t even bring himself to look up into Bokuto’s eyes that are piercing into him. _It’s too much_ , knowing that Bokuto thinks that he is attractive, knowing that the barriers are down, knowing that Bokuto thinks that he is cute and that apparently it’s a default for everything he says and does to be cute. _It’s too much._

It’s much like the way that Keiji thinks that everything Bokuto does is beautiful.

It’s too much that it’s reciprocated.

Because it has never happened before.

He doesn’t know what to do and so he can’t look. Doesn’t know what to do now, that will keep Bokuto thinking the same way. Doesn’t know what to do now, that won’t bring down Bokuto’s expectations.

“You don’t need to freak out Akaashi.”

It figures that with those glowing, golden eyes that Bokuto can read his mind.

“It’s not your mind, it’s your face.” So he says, but that is definitely mind reading. “I’ll stop saying that stuff if it’s making you uncomfortable.”

See, Bokuto is so beautiful.

“It’s just unexpected.”

“That’s good.” Bokuto lets out a sigh of breath, as if actually worried that Keiji would have told him to stop. Keiji would never tell him to stop. He’s out of his depth with being out with someone who actually likes him back, but he never wants Bokuto to stop talking. The energy Bokuto puts into everything he says and the way he talks is one of his charms. “Because in my head I have a running commentary of you being cute all the time, it’s hard enough to ignore normally but being on a date with you makes it even harder.”

Case in point. Bokuto rambles, and it’s charming; even if appears that Keiji has spent far too long pining after Bokuto and his hair and his eyes and his thighs and the way he just _is_ , given that apparently the attention to all these details is mirrored back at him.

“Your table is ready.” Keiji is glad for the interruption before Bokuto finds anything else to say that will make Keiji’s heart explode. He has the time while they get shown to their table to calm down and prepare himself for the fact that Bokuto is removing all filters tonight. It’s strange to think that all of Bokuto’s physicality, the hand holding, the hugs, the casual touches, are a part of that filtered behaviour; and he’s curious to know what will come of it once Bokuto is set free.

He bumps into Bokuto, who is stalling on the way to the table. Only for a second, and then he’s moving again. Keiji laments the fact that they need to let go of their hands as they sit down at their table. Even though he knows that it’s ridiculous to think that he and Bokuto could have eaten while still holding hands, the actual act of parting makes him a little sad. He shouldn’t feel even this little bit sad - Keiji is sitting down with Bokuto to a date.

For real this time.

Keiji left ordering the food to Bokuto, until he realised that Bokuto had ordered three different meat dishes, so at the last minute Keiji added on a bowl of cabbage and a bowl of mushrooms. Bokuto smiled at him, and this time Keiji knew to expect what was coming.

“It’s cute that you order vegetables at a yakiniku restaurant.”

“I think it’s strange that you’re an athlete and didn’t plan on having vegetables for dinner, what would your coach think.”

Bokuto puffed up his face in playful anger. “I’m not on a date with him though.”

Keiji felt his cheeks heat up again, Bokuto has won this round too.

When the food arrived Keiji suddenly realised what he had done. Five bowls. There were five bowls squished on the table around the grill for only the two of them to eat. He could feel the gazes of the other customers as they were placed, and he felt slightly hot around the collar. This was not just him and Bokuto eating, this was out in public with other people who would have no problem judging them. Not to their faces, but they would. It was different to eating breakfast with Bokuto and piling his plate high with food and getting no comments.

Here, Keiji could already hear the hushed whispers and giggles filling the air.

“Don’t worry Akaashi! With the both of us eating it’ll be fine, they won’t worry about the food being wasted if we eat it all!”

Keiji didn’t think the whispers were about food being wasted, he didn’t think the thoughts of the other patrons were getting that far. He was pretty sure they only saw the food and were enjoying themselves with the fact that Keiji and Bokuto had ordered twice as much food as to be expected from them.

He was glad to be here with Bokuto and not alone.

“I ordered my favourites, I hope you don’t mind!”

“Bokuto-san, we are here _because_ it’s your favourite, I look forward to trying it.”

Bokuto beamed at him, readying his chopsticks to start grilling the first batch of meat.

“I’ll save my absolute favourite until last, because it’s the best! Next time we go out we should go for your favourite food!”

It was Keiji’s turn to smile now. “That sounds nice, but I’m afraid my favourite is seasonal. It’s best eaten in the spring.”

“That’s ages away!” So far away. So far away that despite the both of their feelings now Keiji wasn’t holding out hope for there being a date that far in the future. “You’ll have to make sure to remind me next year!”

Then again, this was Bokuto. Honest, charming, apparently does have a filter, but more often than not speaks whatever is on his mind and is passionate in everything he does, which may just include Keiji.

Maybe there was some small hope for a chance at spring with Bokuto.


	16. 5:00 AM

Keiji had to admit that he had never been to a yakiniku restaurant with so few people before, only in groups, so he had never been the one to grill. For a reason. He had to admit it to himself, he could not admit it to Bokuto, hadn’t been planning on it, Bokuto had seemed to be happily grilling everything so what was the point? So when Bokuto handed him the chopsticks to use on the grill, Keiji took them, thinking that it couldn’t be too hard. He was older now, he could do this.  
  
He couldn’t, two attempts was all it took. One piece turned up charred and another turned up still practically raw because he didn’t want it to char again.  
  
Bokuto was ever the gentleman and ate both sets with as much enthusiasm as the perfectly grilled pieces that he had been making earlier. Keiji handed control of the grill back over shortly afterwards, only choosing to use it again when it came to eating the vegetables he had ordered. He knew better what they would look like if they were on too long, knew better how to tell by looking when they were properly made.  
  
When Bokuto got to the last meat dish they had ordered, he slowed down with grilling. Cooking up only one piece at a time before either eating it himself or holding it over the table for Keiji to eat. It was a lot more effort, but Keiji could understand.  
  
They were nearly finished, he didn’t want to leave.  
  
He wanted this date to drag out, to last forever.  
  
It was everything he had pictured for their first date, and then tried to ignore in preparation for this time in case, once again, all went awry.  
  
Bokuto sent him small smiles every time he handed Keiji over some food, small smiles that bloomed into radiance when Keiji said that they were good. Each and every single bite. It should have been exasperating, going through the routine for every mouthful, but instead Keiji enjoyed it. Loved that Bokuto was focusing on him with that intensity, trying to make sure that Keiji was enjoying himself so much, that every bite was a treasure.  
  
And every bite was, for the few times that Keiji’s answer was met with a smile and the feel of Bokuto’s leg gliding along his own beneath the table.  
  
Keiji really didn’t want it to end.  
  
It still took ten minutes of silence after the last of the food and their drinks were gone. Ten minutes of silence and lingering gazes and smiles and Keiji feeling every millimetre of his legs burning where Bokuto had stroked against them with his own leg.  
  
The only benefit to leaving, was that they would get to touch again.  
  
When Bokuto pushed his chair out to get up, Keiji knew that their time was up too. He followed the action to stand up, and then Bokuto led him out to the front with a hand at the small of his back.  
  
It burned there.  
  
Keiji loved it.  
  
At the entrance they were waved on by the person who had seated them, and Keiji didn’t think about it until they were outside and halfway back down the street that they needed to pay.  
  
He stopped in his tracks.  
  
“Bokuto-san, we forgot to pay.”  
  
“It’s okay, I sorted it out earlier.”  
  
That really wasn’t okay. “I thought we were both going to pay.”  
  
They weren’t really words that should have made Bokuto smile the way he did. “Does it make you feel any better if I didn’t pay either?”  
  
“Not really, no. I thought you said you sorted it out.”  
  
“I did!” Bokuto insisted. Keiji didn’t really see how neither of them paying for their meal was sorting it out. Wasn’t this Bokuto’s favourite place to eat? Would he ever be allowed back in after running away without paying? “Just to stop you from freaking out,” - he could say what he wanted, but Keiji knew that those eyes could see every thought in his mind, which was a terrifying prospect given some of the things Keiji had thought about Bokuto - “a cat owed me a favour and paid for our meal tonight.”  
  
Keiji could learn everything there was to know about Bokuto, probably, but he would never be able to understand him. Who could? When the boy that Keiji was so completely enamoured with had just claimed that a cat paid for their food.  
  
“A cat?” Keiji just wanted to be sure that he had not missed out on the rest of someone’s name.  
  
“Yes!” He had apparently missed nothing. “Now, let’s go, let’s go, we’re running out of time!”  
  
Their first date involved a lot of walking around the city, their second date, while they had managed to get their food, apparently involved a lot of running. At least Bokuto was holding his hand again.  
  
And Keiji really should not have been surprised at where he was led.  
  
What was surprising was what he found upon being led over the ledge delicately by Bokuto, as if he hadn’t climbed up here without Bokuto’s help a hundred times before.  
  
A blanket, a basket, and pillows.  
  
Bokuto smiling at him far brighter than the moon hung in the sky, far brighter than the sun where it currently rested on the other side of the world. Far brighter than anything.  
  
“Surprise!” He cheered, dragging Keiji’s hand into the air with his own as he pumped his fists. “Were you surprised?”  
  
Bokuto had done this? “Yes.” How many times must he have climbed up and down the ladder in order to bring everything up. “You did all this?”  
  
Bokuto’s shifting answered the question, he might have done some himself, but he had also gotten some help. “I did it while I was waiting for you, when I heard you were going to be late.”  
  
“For a reason, or is it just to be comfortable?” Keiji walked over to flip open the lid on the basket, it was full of snacks, and some bottles of water. He was kind of relieved that it was all that he had found. “Are you going to sleep up here again?”  
  
“I am not going to sleep tonight!” The way Bokuto said it almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself to see the statement through.  
  
“I don’t mind if you sleep Bokuto-san, you’ve been awake since this morning haven’t you?”  
  
“Yes, I have.” Bokuto seemed to wilt, and Keiji pulled him closer to stroke at the sides of his hair. “But there’s meant to be a meteor shower tonight, so I thought it would be nice to watch it with you.”  
  
Keiji froze with his hands tucked on either side of Bokuto’s head. Bokuto picked up his gaze to lock eyes with Keiji.  
  
“It’s romantic right?”  
  
“Very.” Keiji answered.  
  
The second date was infinitely better than the first one. They had ended up on the roof to end the night, something that really Keiji might just have to expect from now on, but this set up was much better than a convenience store bag stuffed with food. This was thought out, planned.  
  
“What time is the meteor shower?”  
  
Bokuto’s face dropped, for only a second, before he started laughing. “I knew I was forgetting something, I really should have checked that.”  
  
“So we just sit and wait?” Bokuto let out a yawn. “And you try to stay awake.” Keiji smiled. “If you think that’s possible.” Keiji sat down, drawing his hands back slowly across Bokuto’s face as he left. He picked up a pillow to place between his back and the cage of the fan. It was amazing what a difference it made.  
  
“I’ll do it.”  
  
“Uh huh.”  
  
“Watch me.”  
  
“I will.”  
  
“You’ll be surprised.”  
  
“You surprise me all the time Bokuto-san.”  
  
Instead of yawning, Bokuto managed to catch himself in time to beam at Keiji. “Good surprises?”  
  
“Yes, always Bokuto-san.” Keiji was happy that even now he could see the blush that darkened Bokuto’s cheeks, liked knowing that after all the times Bokuto had flustered him during the night, Keiji was able to fluster him too. “So get down here.”  
  
Bokuto collapsed, right in to Keiji’s lap, and it might have been romantic if Bokuto hadn’t been so heavily packed with muscle. He doesn’t complain though, simply rearranges his legs so that he doesn’t need to fear Bokuto possibly cracking his bones.  
  
Almost automatically, Keiji reaches his hands out to Bokuto’s hair, and receives a moan in reply. “That’s so nice, but if you keep that up I’ll fall asleep.”  
  
“I don’t mind if you want to fall asleep.”  
  
“I don’t wanna fall asleep though. I wanna see what you see when you come up here at night time.”  
  
“This is all there is really, I just like the quiet, and if you lie straight down the ledge here covers most of the city lights to make the stars look brighter.”  
  
“Really?” Bokuto looks consideringly at the floor, and then to the stars. “I kind of want to try, but I think if I lie down I’ll definitely fall asleep.”  
  
“I’ll wake you up.”  
  
Bokuto moved in his lap, and Keiji watched as he simply slipped out from Keiji to lie on the floor in front of him. “It really does make a difference without the city lights there. Cool!” Keiji could hear the awe in his voice.  
  
He knew the feeling.  
  
All the time people talked about the stars being brighter out in the country, but Keiji had never been there. Only the outskirts of Tokyo where he had grown up, always with lights aplenty to see his way through the night. Now he was closer to the city, and the nights were lit up even further. To lie down and have the lights fade and the stars come into focus was beautiful, and enough for him. If he could see them here, in this place, his shared space with Bokuto, then why did he need to visit the country? Why leave, when he could always be here, always see Bokuto here, and see enough of the stars to satisfy him.  
  
Bokuto had silenced, so Keiji drew a hand up from his waist to his armpit, Bokuto shivered and twitched, made some noise, that was all Keiji needed.  
  
“Do you remember when you looked up the constellations? Do you remember them?”  
  
Getting Bokuto to talk was a guaranteed way to keep Bokuto awake, so long as it didn’t have the opposite effect of draining the energy from him. It wouldn’t drain away from Keiji, he preferred this time of the night. When everything was settled and quiet and he felt like the only person alive.  
  
Tonight there was Bokuto, but that only made him feel like it was him and Bokuto alone in the world; another form of excitement entirely. With the world cased in darkness like this, Keiji thinks that taking on the world with Bokuto burning bright at his side wouldn’t even be that daunting.  
  
Not when Bokuto is so animatedly talking about the dumb-bell nebula contained in the little fox. “It’s carrying a goose though, it’s so sad Akaashi. Do foxes eat owls too?” Keiji lay down next to Bokuto, picking up the hand that wasn’t pointing up at the universe that was surrounding them, engulfing them. Keiji almost felt like he could fall of the very face of the earth into the sky. especially with the stories that Bokuto was telling, always taking the side of the smaller beings, always seeming to enjoy the clusters of lights that were buried deep inside a constellation, and less in the stars that actually made it up. It made them seem closer, like he could reach up too, and hold a star in his hand.  
  
He already was.  
  
It made sense in a way, Bokuto was the sun, their own star burning bright, catching people in his orbit. Keiji had become so caught up in him. Bokuto belonged in a constellation, he had no use for singular stars, light years away, clusters would be better for him, would suit him more. For him to burn brighter for being amongst them.  
  
Instead he was here with Keiji.  
  
Keiji who was only darkness, one of the nebulas that blocked out the stars behind him. He didn’t shine, didn’t cast light, only took it away. Then there was Boktuo, leading him by the hand into new things, into meetings on the rooftop, into a new routine, into this, this love. With Keiji behind him, Bokuto would appear so much brighter. Shining brightly on the black sky.  
  
Spending the night out here with Bokuto telling him stories of the sky was beautiful, perfect. Hand in hand and touching the sky, Keiji was in his own version of paradise. They only moved when the first signs of light started trickling it’s way through the sky.  
  
The moment was perfect, that was the only word that could be used to describe it.  
  
Bokuto had those eyes; gleaming, golden eyes, trained on him. On Keiji’s eyes, on Keiji’s mouth, on Keiji.  
  
The sun wasn’t coming up yet, but the dawn light filtered through, nautical twilight releasing it’s sheets to let the civil blanket cover them.  
  
Bokuto was here, and Keiji was here, and like this; the moment could only be described as perfect.  
  
Keiji thought he was making the first move, but when they met, the distance covered was far too small for it to have been him moving alone.  
  
It was softer than expected, gentle. A testing of the waters, and then Keiji was hit with what he had been expected, because Bokuto was passionate about life, and right now Keiji happened to be the main focus of it.  
  
The evidence of their sleepless night was nowhere to be seen, Bokuto’s energy not diminished, and Keiji felt himself energised anew as he chased Bokuto’s mouth with his own, fed off the air from within Bokuto’s own body.  
  
Bokuto had said that he was saving the best for last what seemed like so long ago. Keiji thought that this was certainly the case as he trapped Bokuto’s tongue in his own mouth, Bokuto tasted best of all, even with the remnants of the food they had shared lingering in his mouth.  
  
Keiji could feel Bokuto’s heart racing beneath his palms where they had ended up on his chest, somehow pushing their way past the buttons and the shirt to rest right against his skin.  
  
Burning, hot, searing.  
  
Until he needed to move his hands as Bokuto shifted, bringing Keiji up into his lap and there was no room for them any more. Keiji’s heart beat a steady rhythm of _welcome home_ to feel Bokuto right there against him. To be so close, legs tossed around him, in their spot on the roof where it had all begun.  
  
It was only fitting.  
  
The stars had born witness to the beginning of everything on this world, and now they were seeing Keiji and Bokuto’s beginning carried out to the end - the reason that they always ended up back here, even when they made an effort to move elsewhere.  
  
The rooftop was home, Bokuto was home, being with Bokuto on the rooftop and kissing him, finally, was coming home.  
  
Pulling away from Bokuto, Keiji was greeted with the sky bursting with colour. Pink, pale pink; for their date, for this kiss, for the fact that this was date number two and Keiji was drowning in his love, in his affection, for Bokuto. Pink for the tenderness that his lips had been, in his hands had been holding him, when Keiji knew, could feel, could tell, that those hands held so much more.  
  
As they watched the sun come up, again, Keiji hoped it would be forever, he wished that he could move closer. Sit closer, nudge closer, anything just to be closer. To invade the space that Bokuto held, to share it with him. But if he tried, they would fall. Why fall now, when he had been caught up in Bokuto?  
  
They left soon after the sun was over the horizon, and Keiji leading the way down for once. This time it was Bokuto who was sleepiest, awake all through their night together - Keiji hoped it wouldn’t ruin his sleeping pattern. Hoped that Bokuto would still be up bright and early the next morning to meet, hoped that Bokuto would be up before the morning got bright to see him.


End file.
